Numbers

Today the babies are 3 months old, and 13 weeks old. I estimate that I have spent over 11,000 minutes pumping since they were born. That's over an entire week just pumping. That doesn't count actually nursing the babies.

Pumping is such a pain, but on the other hand, it gives me time to write blog posts.

We have changed almost 1,500 diapers since the babies were born.

Last week Nora was over 9 pounds and Milo was over 10 pounds. Nora has doubled her weight since she was born. Milo has probably done the same by this week. Way to go, babies!

I thought maybe I would have to pay for taking this picture, but the flash didn't wake them up after all. This is how Nora and Milo sleep. You can see Milo's flattened head in this picture, and how we encourage him to sleep facing his left by putting Nora on his left side.

This week my mother in law left unexpectedly, three weeks earlier than planned. So now it's just us. It's kind of scary, and kind of nice. On Monday I had meetings that I couldn't miss, so Jake stayed home by himself with the babies for a few hours. When I returned home they were all still alive, so things must have been okay.

One way we need to deal with things like errands and meetings is to just split up the babies. It turns out that I can handle going to the grocery store with one baby, but the thought of going by myself with both babies seems overwhelming. However, Jake can take care of one easily enough if I take one with me. Same with work. I can take a baby to work if necessary, leaving the other one home with Jake. Today I took Nora to a faculty meeting and she slept through most of it, but woke up at one point to raise her arm, as if she were in school and had a question. The chair said "you don't get a vote, Nora."

I have a feeling that maybe things will get easier as the babies get a little older and a little bigger. Right now they can play in their crib with toys and the mobile, or they can play under the activity gym downstairs, but basically their playing consists of lying on their backs batting at toys above them. Or lying on their bellies either trying to roll over, or doing face plants and crying hysterically until the 5 minutes of tummy time is up. So the play isn't all that exciting, and it can't last that long. So what do I do to entertain the babies? I can either have them playing in those ways, or I can carry one around in the sling, but then what do I do with the other one if they're both awake? I can put them in bouncy chairs or in the swing, but then I kind of feel like I'm neglecting them by doing that, even though I'm in the same room and they're watching me. I keep worrying that they're thinking "Pick me up, mommy! Don't leave me in this chair!" Which is silly because when I do put them in a bouncy chair in order to take a shower or something, they seem perfectly happy.

In the morning, after I feed the babies, they are usually awake and happy but I have to pump after the feeding. So I'll turn on the mobile and they'll coo at it and play with their crib toys while I pump. But again I worry that I am neglecting them by just leaving them in the crib like that while I'm pumping. Stuff like that makes me want to give up pumping, but then I know that means less breastmilk and more formula. I've decided to keep pumping until they are 6 months old, and then give myself permission to stop.

I know the thing is that I have to find ways to go about the day and get things done with the babies, and because they don't sleep all the time anymore, I need to be okay with doing something like putting them in bouncy chairs while I cook dinner or do the dishes. I hope that's okay. I have this feeling that it'll get easier as they get bigger because then they'll be big enough to play in the exersaucer, or jump in the Johnny jump up. So there will be more play options and I can rotate them between different fun stations, so to speak.

Right now I'm typing with Milo in the sling, and Jake is on his computer with Nora in the sling. When both of us are here it's okay, because there are two adults to hold two babies. It's those times when I'm on my own (or when Jake is on his own) that I fear. But the only way to get more comfortable with it is just to do it.

I worry that twins, by nature, just have to live with less parental attention than they deserve. It's too bad. On the up side, they will, I hope, always have each other.