Contrasts

I'm stressing myself out over this grant proposal to the point of inaction, almost, so even though it's only 9:30 p.m. I think it's time to stop working and do something else.

(I think the experience of having been on an NSF review panel for the specific award I'm applying for is making it harder for me to write this particular grant. I have seen how solid proposals can get killed over kind of idiosyncratic things based on who happens to be on the review panel.)

Having Milo back has made me notice how different M&N are in their personalities. Milo is such a goofball. He gets all riled up very easily, and runs around laughing and flailing his arms everywhere and cracking himself up. He is super cheerful most of the time and usually has a huge grin on his face, unless he's upset about something. Nora is more serious. She isn't constantly goofy the way Milo is. She can have fun and laugh, but her general demeanor just seems to be...serious. She's a serious person.

Nora is eager to please. She wants to do the right thing, she just has to figure out what that thing is. Once she learns what to do, she'll do it. I have listened to Nora tell herself "sit down, sit down", mimicking what I say when she's in the bathtub. The other day I asked her to find all of the books scattered about the room and bring them to me, and she did it, bringing them one by one. Nora was so tickled by this task that she started giggling in glee. In contrast, I have told Milo not to do something, like throw his food on the floor, and then I have watched him look me in the eye, deliberately pick up a piece of food, and then very slowly and deliberately throw it on the floor, staring at me the whole time.

Being here with just Nora made me realize how much crying and whining we listen to on a given day due to sibling rivalry alone. Without Milo here, suddenly there were no fights over toys, there was no pushing, there was no freaking out because one kid has something and the other one suddenly must have that exact. same. thing. Having Milo back means everything is louder again, but at the same time, it also means being able to sit on the couch and just watch as Milo and Nora run back and forth across the living room, chasing each other and laughing.