Weekend

I've learned a lesson: If you spill a giant tub of yogurt all over the floor, don't say "oh shit" in front of your 15-month old unless you want to hear that phrase tossed back at you another 50 times throughout the evening.

This weekend we went to the Children's Museum for an hour. Nora walked all over creation, and Milo stood still, transfixed by the giant rube goldberg machine with a cue ball. He probably could have watched that thing all day.

On Saturday it got up to 50 and we spent some time in the park, walking all over the field and getting delightfully muddy. On Sunday we woke up to a snow-covered landscape. Is this April, or is it February? Tomorrow we have a high of 34 and it is supposed to snow all day. San Diego can't come soon enough.

The kids are entering a really challenging phase. They whine and complain all the time, and they also fight with each other. There are nice parts between them, like when Milo says "Noona" and then hands something to Nora, like a ball or a toy. He'll specifically walk over to her to give her something. But mostly it's just fighting over stuff. When Nora gets upset she will get down on her hands and knees and bang her head on the floor, repeatedly. Or else she'll stand against the wall and bang her head on the wall over and over again. Or else she'll take her hands, grasp them together to make a giant fist, and then bang herself in the forehead over and over again. Is this normal? It doesn't seem normal. I have a memory of my grandfather doing the same thing once he became (mentally) ill. He had a big bruise on his forehead. One time my grandmother and I went shopping and we came home behind this giant truck that spewed out a bunch of smoke. When we got home, Grandmom told the story about the truck spewing smoke and Grandpop said "I shouldn't have let you drive to the store. I should have done it myself." Then he started banging himself on the head. This is the image I flash to when I see Nora doing that. Is she going to turn out to be mentally ill, or is this just a normal (but weird) toddler thing to do?

Nora loves being held and she loves talking. She will spontaneously hug me. When we were at the children's museum, she would go up to random people and just stare at them, sometimes saying "hi". So...she doesn't seem autistic.

This morning I went to the Y instead of running outside due to the snow. The nice thing about returning to the dreaded treadmill after weeks of running outside is that you can really see your progress. When I started in January, I was reeeeally slow. Now my cruising speed is .7 mph faster than when I started, and it's pretty easy, and my maximum cruising speed (that I can maintain for at least 5 minutes) is 1.2 mph faster than when I started. That feels great. I have lost 10 lbs since Christmas and that has helped with running. I have another 5 to go, in a perfect world, but we will see if that happens given that my body is not going to return to what it used to be. I have a lot of extra weird wrinkly skin around my belly that is not going anywhere.  I also have diastasis recti, which doesn't seem to be getting any better, and the exercises I've gotten off the internet don't seem to have helped. Maybe it is time to visit a PT?  When I am on my back and I look at my belly or touch it and feel that giant gulf in the middle, the gulf that didn't used to be a gulf, I feel weird and lightheaded and creeped out like maybe I am going to faint. 

But other than having a destroyed stomach, I feel stronger and fitter and I have more energy and verve. This is a good thing because I need that energy now more than ever. Toddler wrangling is tiring business, but just look at these cuties: