Escapism

My day at home on the weekend was a very nice day. We had weather in the 80s, which might be the last warm spell this season, and we spent a lot of time outside, at the park, in the yard, riding bikes up and down the sidewalk, trimming back our plantings and getting ready for autumn.

We took advantage of the nice weather to light up the grill and we made these incredible sandwiches with marinated grilled portobellos and roasted red peppers. I also made a dish of curried tomatoes with onions in yogurt that Nora helped prepare. Under my supervision she chopped up the onions and sliced the tomatoes, and watched with interest as we stirred the pot. And so it begins. Next time it will be Milo's turn.

We also had our first family movie night that night. We watched a movie about a turtle's journey and I have to say, it was fun to all pile onto the sofa/bed with our pillows and blankets together. Milo, unaccustomed to the length of movies, kept worrying it was over with each transition, and started asking after 5 minutes whether it was over yet. Nora said, "Now we have family movie night and we have family game night, what other family nights can we have?" Good question.

This weekend we also had a football game on Saturday night. A lot of people wanted to watch it, so neighbors strung up a giant sheet in the park and broadcast the game on the sheet, the same way we do for neighborhood movie nights. Adults sat out on picnic blankets with their beers. I am still not interested in football games but I like the general atmosphere of the whole thing.

Today while I was at work the kids spent a lot of time with their next door neighbor, a 5-year old who they totally adore. Tonight during shower time they told me that she told them that the tooth fairy and Santa Claus are really us. I asked them, "Do you really believe that? That Santa is US?!?" They said, "Noooo!" grinning, like it was a silly idea. I hope that didn't totally destroy their belief in these magical things. I mean, they're only 4. I was kind of bummed out that she told them that. I wonder if I should (nicely) talk to their mom about it?

Today while I was at work I also endured another onslaught of mathematician emails, and the whole thing has gotten really bad. I mean, it's hard to describe the complexity of the situation or the reasons behind the emails but one mathematician in particular has become bullying and harassing, and I've had enough. I have had 39 emails from him on this one issue (since Thursday), each one more aggressive than the last, and he has violated some established protocols (like cc'ing inappropriate people, and refusing to adhere to committee principles about decision making processes), and then he has begun to engage in specific threats, and today he carried out one of those threats. Another mathematician has also engaged in a more mild form of garden-variety sexism, which is annoying but I can handle it, but the 39 emails guy's arrogance and outright public mocking and dismissal of my factually-correct points borders on malignant.

So I lost an hour and a half of my work time to this ridiculousness and my blood pressure was through the roof and then I finally had an epiphany. I realized that I do not need to put up with this. I have tenure now. So I sent a strongly worded response to the malignant mathematician explaining that his behavior was bullying and harassing, and I directly requested that he stop immediately. I also cc'd his chair, which is not as bold as it sounds because he was already cc'ing the chair on about 80% of his emails anyway. Then I decided that I would bounce back, unread, any further emails from this one individual.

Then I locked up my office and walked home. In the time it took me to walk home, malignant mathematician had sent me two more emails. Which I promptly bounced back, unread. And lo and behold, I do feel much lighter now.

What does all of this mean? Many things, but the one thing I'm focusing on is that I need a sabbatical. So my mind keeps drifting to next year's (knock on wood) sabbatical. I am fantasizing about what that'll be like. I will send the kids off on the school bus and then I imagine splitting my day between exercise, writing/research, and domestic tasks. I fantasize about doing a lot of things that I like the idea of doing, in the abstract, but often don't do because I don't have time. Things like seasonally-focused baking that involves cookie cutters in the right shapes. Or seasonally-appropriate decorating. Like, with gourds and pumpkins. Working on various home maintenance tasks in a regular way. Having a truly spic-and-span little house with everything in its place; warm, inviting, comforting. Having the kids come home to the scent of apple cider mulling on the stove, or freshly-baked muffins. Homemaker fantasies, I guess. They are very appealing to me, and I crave the introspection, silence, and solitude that would come from a year of working from home, working exclusively on research tasks.

No politics for a year. No meetings. No service. Automatic out-of-office reply on my email. No need to engage with the mathematicians for an entire year. Oh my God, it sounds awesome.