Aches & Pains

You know those nights when you have a fever and you're freezing all night long, but simultaneously sweating, and your head is killing you, and you feel sick to your stomach, and you toss and turn in a restless half-sleep, and wake feeling like you can't stand to move? Those definitely-call-in-sick kind of days? Last night was like that, except then I had to get up, make breakfast, make the kids' lunches, get everybody fed and dressed and then put on boots and coats and hats and mittens and get them buckled into the car and then drive the car to school and then get off the boots and coats and hats and mittens and get the kids checked in and then drive home.

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For the first two years of preschool, Milo and Nora had the best teachers ever. They were so empathetic and loving, and what really comforted me is that I could tell they both just genuinely liked the kids so much. One time I brought them into the classroom and Milo was telling them about his ear doctor's appointment, and Nora, not wanting to miss out, piped up, "AND I'M CONSTIPATED!" And both of their teachers just cracked up laughing, and one of them said, "Oh Nora, I love you!" I felt comfortable leaving them with their teachers, even though they were young enough that sometimes they would cry when I left, because their teachers were so awesome.

This year their teachers are more like the traditional teachers. There is nothing wrong with them, but they're not like the old teachers. One of them in particular is really quite strict. Every time she comes over to talk to me, I feel a little nervous because I know that she's going to tell me something not so great about Milo. (It's always Milo. This bothers me too.) For instance, this morning she came to talk to me because yesterday Milo had struggled when it came time to put on his snowsuit.

Milo is having a phase now where everything bothers him if it's not just right. He gets upset very quickly if his socks or shoes don't feel right, or if his pants are too loose, or if his coat feels too big or too small. Every little thing has to be just so or he's liable to freak out. This is kind of new. He wasn't like that as a baby, the way Nora was. I think Milo is in a stage of disequilibrium these days, and he's just kind of off in general. Anyway, yesterday they put on their snowsuits to go outside and Milo got really upset because his pants were bunched up inside his snowsuit and it didn't feel right. According to his teacher he totally lost it and he was sobbing, and she had to help him make it right. (This she didn't like, I got the impression, because they are supposed to do it all themselves.)

I mean...yeah. Milo is doing that these days, and I understand it's inconvenient and frustrating. But I don't think he can help it. She wants me to try to desensitize him a little bit so that these things don't bother him so much, but I'm not sure how to do that. My guess is that it's a phase and he'll get better over time or develop coping mechanisms. I feel kind of sorry for him. I also empathize, as I'm a little like that too. I hate to get my hands wet, I hate it when my sleeves are bunched up or my socks fall down, etc. The thing to work on is probably helping him deal with his frustration without totally losing it - but you'd think his teacher would know how to tackle that angle herself.

Fortunately, the kids see to like their teachers just fine, so that what's most important, I imagine. I'm pretty determined not to go down the road of thinking my kids are oh-so-special snowflakes who must be treated a certain way by everybody in their lives.

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This morning in the car on the way to school, Nora said, "Mom, all of the other girls in our class like things like pink and purple and other pretty things. And I don't really like that stuff." I said, "It's okay if you don't like that stuff. You don't have to like it." She said, "But the girls want me to like it, they want me to play those things with them." Awwww. This matches with what I have seen, which is that the other kids are nice to Nora and they do want to play with her and they include her. But she isn't quite sure how to fit in because she has interests that are a little different from most of the girls.

The girls in the kids' class are extra frilly this year, for whatever reason, so it might not be the best fit in the world for Nora, but I'm hopeful that she'll find her own way as a kid and find her own group of kids who she feels comfortable playing with. Nora certainly likes playing with her neighborhood friends and other friends outside of school.