Okay. I totally get why people do Cry It Out with babies. I get it, and if things continue like this, as soon as we feel confident that they're able to make it through the night without having to eat, I bet we'll do it.
Because I can not. take. this. anymore.
The babies' sleeping, which was never terrific, has gone to crap. Last night we put them to bed as usual. Nora needed a pacifier, so we gave her one and she fell asleep. Milo didn't want one, so we put him down and he fell asleep. All was well.
11 p.m., Nora woke. I gave her a pacifier and jiggled her and she went back to sleep. Midnight, Milo woke. Same for him. 12:20, Milo woke. Jake went in, put him back to sleep, slipped back into bed, and before the covers were up Milo started fussing again. I went in there, gave him a pacifier, stood there for 5 or 10 minutes until his arms stopped swiping at his face, inadvertently knocking the pacifier out, waking him up, and making him cry for it. He fell asleep. 12:45, same thing with Milo. He went back to sleep after 5 minutes or so. I went to bed. 1:50, Milo woke up again. He was wide awake and thought it was playtime. He was talking and cooing and so loud that it woke Nora up.
At which point Jake came in and said "I guess we should feed them" and I screamed "IF WE FEED THEM NOW NORA WILL WAKE UP AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING AND I CANNOT HANDLE THAT!" Milo screamed. Nora slept. I gave up and fed Milo, changed him, put him down, he went back to sleep. It's now 2:45. Nora woke. I fed Nora, changed her, put her down with a pacifier, she went to sleep at 3:30. I went to sleep at 3:30.
Nora was up for good at 5:30 a.m.
This morning, I put them down for their naps, and right after half an hour like clockwork, Nora woke up. I thought, this is insane, she can't have this little sleep. She needs more than half an hour nap, she was up at 5:30! I went in, gave her a pacifier, jiggled her, she was wide awake. I picked her up (which I rarely do during sleep/nap time), and rocked her until she fell asleep because I really, really wanted her to have more than half an hour nap. I put her back in the crib. She woke up from the transition. She smiled. She loves to wake up and see me there, she wants it to be play time, not sleep time. I am now typing this while she's fussing in the crib because I am just so pissed off that she won't fucking sleep.
There. I said it. I'm mad at the babies because they won't sleep. They need sleep. We need sleep. NOBODY IS SLEEPING AND THEY ARE 5 MONTHS OLD ALREADY AND WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END OH MY GOD I AM GOING INSANE.
And this wasn't even the worst night. These days, it was an average night.
I see many problems here. One is the pacifier. If we keep giving them a pacifier to get them back to sleep, then of course when they wake up they're going to cry for a pacifier, at least Nora. I watch Milo put himself back to sleep without a pacifier all the time, so I don't know WHAT Milo's deal is when he wakes. Another problem is obvious. When they wake up, they get to see us, and they're delighted. They smile at us and coo and they're basically rewarded for waking up and making noise. So what is the incentive to stay asleep when instead they could get mama or daddy jiggling them, or patting them, or giving them a pacifier, or picking them up? What's the solution? Pantly's stupid "pick up put down" thing doesn't work, they don't even need to be picked up most of the time. I guess one thing is to teach Nora to go to sleep without a pacifier. That doesn't solve Milo's problems. Neither of them sleep well in bed with us, they're restless as hell that way, and I can't accept the idea of safe co-sleeping with twins all in one bed anyway. I can't think of anything else to do. They wake all the time, and I'm out of ideas. So that is why people do the cry it out method. Because nothing else works! Nothing is working.
2 comments:
I said this over a million times "because I am just so pissed off that she won't fucking sleep." I got so mad at them when they wouldn't sleep. Especially at night.
What "worked"? Define worked! My kids are much better sleepers now and I wish I could tell you when they started sleeping through the night... or that you are close to them sleeping through the night. Jason started waking up once a night again recently... He's 2 next month. It's a long road and it will go back and forth.
We had the pacifier thing too. We slept w/ our babies until they were 5.5 months old and I remember putting my finger in Lily's pacifier trying to hold it in so it wouldn't fall out (she slept on her side) and as soon as I fell asleep it would fall out and she would freak. We tried it all sista. I don't know what to tell you.
Cry it out sucks ass, but like you said.. nothing else works. You also have the joy of extra sleep exhaustion, thus even less coping skills, b/c you have two babies.
We did it cold turkey. It sucked.. .A LOT! I think they were 6 months old when we did it. The first night there was A LOT of screaming adn fussing and crying.. I won't bore you/scare you w/ the details. Another note... 'they' say it will take a few days to a week... 'they' are lying! It was easier for me the first week b/c I was delighted to not have to 'deal' w/ a fussing/screaming baby for hours, but after we passed the week mark I went back to being pissed that they wouldn't just fucking sleep!
Hang in there and give me a shout out if you need moral support!
Ha! Thank you, I'm glad I'm not the only mother who would get mad in the middle of the night because her babies just. won't. sleep! I was thinking 6 months too, because I'm worried that right now they're still too little to make it through the night without eating, or something. Or maybe I'm just procrastinating, but it helps to have a future deadline and think "well, we'll start working on it next month..."
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