Octuplets

All of the vitriol being directed at the mother of the octuplets bothers me.

Yes, okay, having 8 babies at once is bad medicine, risky, and the result of poor judgment. But when the Iowa couple had their septuplets in the 90's, they got a house, a van, and a congratulatory phone call from the President. It was okay for them to have all of those babies (who were born premature and tiny with serious health issues), just as it's okay for the Duggars to have 18 kids, and for Jon & Kate to have the 8, but it is not okay for Nadya Suleman to do it. Why? Because she already has 6 at home. Because she doesn't have a job. Because (and I think this is a huge subtext that angers everybody) she doesn't have a husband, and she is not white.

I look at that picture above and I know I'm an old softie now and everything, but damn. Just look at her. That's one tiny baby. That's a tiny baby who is going to need a lot of love and attention and food and diapers to survive. But nobody wants to given vans or houses or vasts amounts of diapers to these babies because their mother had the audacity to do what she pleased with her uterus without the sanctioned permission of the cultural authority. All I can think is that we're all foaming at the mouth in devilish glee at ripping on this mentally ill woman without thinking too hard about what this is going to do to the actual babies. Who are, you know, here and are probably going to need some help.

For the record, I'm not a fan of people having so many babies, especially at once. Even twins are not a good idea. Babies who have to share a uterus don't do as well, period. It's not good for their health and it's not good for the mother's health. Having more children than you can support and properly care for? Yeah, that's gonna suck for the kids, even if you have them one at a time. I'm not suggesting that we encourage any of that. But frankly, we do encourage it. How many t.v. shows are out there about unusually large families or lots of multiples? We fetishize it. We worship at the alter of motherhood as long as it occurs within acceptable conditions: you must be straight, married, with an employed husband, you can't be too young (definitely not a teenager, you slut) or too old (babies at 45, gross). If you're Mrs. Duggar, then that's fine, but if you're a little too young, or a little too brown, or a little too single, then you have no business having children.

The hypocrisy is bothering me and I keep thinking about the fact that now that all of these kids are here, we should be showing up on her doorstep asking how we can help. While we're at it, maybe we should ask how we can help with all of the other children who are forced to live in poverty every single day, even if they're not octuplets.