Money

I have never been a spender. Then I, Frugal McFrugalson, married Jake, Prudent Spartan Pennypincher, esq. And we lived happily ever after in our frugal world.

Until we had twins, and then we started paying for childcare. People, I spend more on childcare for the kids than it would cost to send them to the university where I teach. I could be paying two college tuitions for less than what we pay now. And that's for 4 days a week! I work Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays so that I can stay home with them on Wednesdays and give them a little break from school. Meanwhile I try to ignore the voice screaming inside my head "YOU SHOULD BE WORKING 6 AND A HALF DAYS A WEEK, NOT 5, YOU IDIOT."

Anyway, I am so tired of bleeding money. My paycheck is exactly equal to 4 things: Childcare, mortgage, groceries, phone/internet. When I pay those 4 things, I'm done. There is no more money.

But then I think, man, when these kids go to kindergarten? Which is full day here? Bus picks 'em up at 7:20 and deposits them back at 3? Holy crap, we are going to feel sooooo rich. Forget saving for college. Forget saving for the kitchen remodel we so desperately need as our 90-year old cabinets crumble to pieces in our hands and our fridge leaves things on the top shelf lukewarm and things in the crisper frozen. Instead I'm just going to cash my checks into dollar bills and get naked and roll around the floor in a giant pile of money.