Stuck!

Nora obligingly took this photograph of our bathroom door, because I was too lazy to go upstairs.

So this morning I was in the bathroom, fiddling with the door. I'd noticed over the past couple of weeks that the door knob wasn't working quite right. It was sliding around and sometimes the door would not latch. It annoys me when the door doesn't latch, because then the door swings open of its own accord. So I fiddled with the knob in order to make the door actually latch.

And then I turned the knob to open the door again, and it wouldn't open. Turning the knob didn't move the latch. Also, when I turned the knob, I heard a little clinking sound. It was the sound of something breaking.

The kids were outside in the hall, and I was in the bathroom, separated from them, with a door I couldn't open. I fiddled with the knob some more, more and more vigorously, but nothing I did would budge the latch. Milo turned the knob again and again from the other side of the door, and that did nothing either. I was completely stuck in the bathroom.

Milo said he would run downstairs and get his (toy) tools. At that point I realize that there actually happens to be a screwdriver on the kitchen counter, so I'm about to tell him to get the real screwdriver for me, but then I notice that there is absolutely no gap between the bottom of the door and the floor. That's what happens in an old house. Some of our doors have gaps, some doors don't, some have slanted gaps. There was no gap here. No room to slide under a screwdriver, a phone, or a slice of bologna.

I rattled the hell out of the doorknob, and the door, sort of panicking and getting hot. It's not one of those flimsy, new construction doors. It's a solid core door. I thought, okay, I could have the kids get the phone and coach them through calling Jake. Wait, what's Jake's work number? I don't even have that memorized. I could have the kids call 911, which would be easier to dial, but that's a resort I really don't want to use. It's not exactly a 911 situation, except for the fact that I'm separate from my kids.

I could also climb out the window, onto the roof of the garage, and then get down that way. The only problem there is a) the roof is covered with snow and ice, and I was pretty sure I'd fall, b) I was barefoot, and c) the doors in the house were locked, so then I'd be locked out. But the kids could probably unlock the door for me.

I looked at the door knob. It'd be best if I could just take it apart. Two screws held the knob in. I had no screwdriver, but I had a pair of trimming shears for cutting Nora's bangs. So I used the scissors to get the screws out, and then I was able to disassemble the door knob, and then release the latch mechanism and escape from the bathroom.

I realized that if a kid had gotten stuck in there, we would have been in real trouble because the screws were only on the inside of the door, so there would have been no way for me to take apart the door knob from outside of the room.

So, there was our adventure for the day. As a result of that experience I decided it'd be a good idea to teach the kids how to make a phone call, so I taught them how to call my cell phone and taught them about calling 911. At least now if I have to tell a kid to make a call, they'll know how to do it. The door knob is off the door and I've ordered a replacement, so I think we'll be okay. May be a bit awkward for guests wanting to use the bathroom in the interim, though.