Here's How Dumb I Am

So Jake is taking both kids up north to his parents' house on the lake tomorrow.

Last year, we were up there and we took a ride on his parents' pontoon boat. Whenever we're out with the kids, each of us informally takes responsibility for one kid. Sometimes we'll trade off during the outing, but we are each watching our own kid. That day on the boat, I was watching Milo and Jake was watching Nora.

Except, he wasn't. Milo wanted to stand on my lap and look at the water, so I held him for a moment, letting him do that, and then put him back down and instinctively glanced around for Nora. And she wasn't there. Jake hadn't been watching her, he had been daydreaming. We're on a boat. I can't see her anywhere. I ask Jake, Where's Nora? He looks around in a panic. Jake's parents look around in a panic. I am suddenly panicking, starting to scan the water, thinking she fell out of the boat without any of us noticing. Then Jake's mom says "Here she is!" She was just hiding behind the seat.

So, a few lessons learned by me. (I cannot say whether Jake learned any lessons). One thing I learned is that if we're in a particularly dangerous situation like on a boat, or in the parking lot, even if we each have our "own" kid to watch, I had probably better be watching the second kid out of the corner of my eye as well.

So back to this weekend. It is all kinds of wonderful that Jake is taking both kids. I can't even believe he wants to do this. The pull to go up north is very strong for him, and he is on vacation, and I have a ton of work to do, so the timing is right. So when he suggested it, I said sure. But tonight at dinner I thought I should probably remind him that since I won't be there, it will be very important that he is paying attention to both kids. He can't just wander off or daydream or stare at a tree or something when there are spiral staircases and 2nd-story decks and big dogs and a giant lake right there. All of those things could theoretically hurt or kill the kids. It's not exactly toddler-proofed up there.

So I was telling him all of this and trying to impress upon him that it is a big deal, and that if anything happened to one of them I would never forgive him. So he had better watch them carefully. (Jake's parents will be there too, of course, but his dad is kind of off in his own world and his mom is often busy with random friends who drive by on the lake, or she's busy eating, and her attention wanders too. So he really needs to make sure he is watching them at all times). So I'm saying all of this at dinner, right in front of the kids, not even realizing that there are actually times, sometimes, when they actually listen to what we're saying.

Then all of the sudden Milo starts getting a little teary, and scared, and he says "I don't want to go up north! I want to stay home! I don't want to get hurt!"

Yes. That is how dumb I am.