It makes me wonder, sometimes, whether things would be generally tranquil if we just had one child. It certainly is every single time just one of them is with us and the other is asleep or off doing something with the other parent or whatever.
Today, in a new parenting low, I actually bribed Nora with a sticker to behave and not throw a fit while I went to the bathroom. Yes, I know it is not a stellar parenting move. Honestly I just needed a little peace for a couple of minutes.
This child is so demanding. Every time I hold Milo she freaks out. She is so jealous. I don't know if my memory is correct, but when they were babies I seem to remember Nora being more mellow and Milo being more cranky and adverse to change. I worry about Milo being left behind, sort of, because Nora is so demanding of my attention. I don't want Milo to feel like the second-class child. He's so much more happy to play on his own or do his own thing, and Nora is so much more likely to demand that I hold her, or cry and scream if I try to cook or something while she wants attention, so when going with the flow it is Nora who gets more of me and Milo who gets less. But I don't want Milo to get less, and I don't want him to feel like he is loved any less.
Every day I hug and kiss Milo and cuddle with him and tell him that I love him, which he likes but often he's just as likely to wipe off the kiss and run off and play, because he's a hard working man with important things to do. So he seems okay, but still. Last night I cuddled with him while Nora threw a giant fit of anger and jealousy. Jake took her upstairs and I stayed down with Milo for a while just to enjoy being able to hold him. I kissed him and he said "Give me two kisses!"
Their constitutions are so different. Milo is still a great sleeper, as he has been since he was a baby. His naps last 3 hours and sometimes we even have to wake him after that time. Nora's naps last half that long if we're lucky. Milo's more outgoing and friendly. Nora is getting better, but she is still shy and afraid of new people. Milo is game to try any food, and enjoys much of it. Nora has actually improved a lot in that area (today she ate pasta and a meatball), but it has been a struggle. Sometimes things just seem...harder for Nora. She's so sensitive. It makes me wonder if her entire life is going to be a little bit harder because she's less easygoing.
Also, sometimes I worry a little bit about Nora's total lack of empathy or compassion for Milo. If Milo is hurt or sad or crying, this does not bother Nora one whit and sometimes she'll even laugh. Which sends a chill down my spine. I hope this is normal for a two-year old, and doesn't mean she's going to be a sociopath or something.
And as long as I'm sharing weird things, sometimes it still seems like Milo sees ghosts. For instance, last night he was talking about how there was a woman in the sunroom watching him. She had a green shirt on and her name was Sophie. I have always had the impression that Milo sees stuff that I don't, which I explain through my own epistemological and ontological philosophy of non-objective perception of reality, but honestly, sometimes it gets a little creepy. It makes me wonder if he's going to be the kind of kid who has imaginary friends.
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