A Decade in Review

2000 saw me ringing in the new year in Seattle. I was teaching at three different colleges, driving around constantly in terrible traffic, living in a funky little house in a beautiful city I kept thinking I should like, but couldn't bond with. I spent a lot of time trying to talk myself out of being miserable.

I was lost in a non-career, not sure where to go next or what I wanted to do. I wanted a family but my husband did not, and I mourned over that a lot. I kept trying to talk myself into the life I had, kept trying to convince myself that it was a good life, since all of the pieces seemed to be there. It looked like it was supposed to be a good life. But I didn't feel good about myself, and I didn't like who I was becoming. I was lost.

So that year, I applied to grad school, picked up and moved to San Diego, and started a new life on my own as Steve stayed back in Seattle for one more year.

San Diego was the kind of city I didn't expect to like, and I saw it as a temporary sacrifice in service of attending the right grad program. But I turned out to love it. It was beautiful and the weather was always perfect and there was plenty of hiking and running and beaches to be had.

I got divorced, grieved for a long time, and struggled with life while I was in grad school. I learned how to live alone for the first time in a decade. I cut all of my hair off. I also made wonderful friends, got published for the first time, got into shape, ran a half marathon, and eventually became truly happy.

My four years in San Diego gave me sunshine, excellent Mexican food, wonderful people, gorgeous beaches, and trips to Arizona, Utah, Alaska, New Orleans, St. Louis, Seattle, Chicago, and Hawaii. It also gave me a PhD.

I then once again picked up my entire life and started over again, moving from beautiful, sunny San Diego to a funky little town in the upper midwest which I love even more. I got a job. I became a professor. I bought a house.

I met Jake, the best thing that ever happened to me, 2 days after I moved to this town, and a year later we were married.

My time in this new town has given me my dream job, wonderful colleagues and friends, and trips to Aruba, San Diego, San Francisco, Houston, Denver, Virginia, Florida, Kansas City, Rhode Island, Michigan, Washington, Ohio, Kentucky, Oregon, Idaho, Minnesota, and DC. I got published some more, won some awards, got some grants, and came into my own as a professor. Jake left his business, shifted careers entirely, and returned to grad school. I have now lived here for 5 and a half years, which is longer than I've lived anywhere as an adult. It feels great to settle down and it is my greatest hope that we will be able to continue to live here for a long while.

After years of struggle, this decade also brought us the most precious gift of our lives, Nora and Milo.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Epilogue: The decade taught me that life is too short to accept a life of quiet resignation. I had to give everything up before I could gain what I really wanted in life, and before I could become the person I wanted to be.

It was worth it.

I can't wait to see what the next decade brings!