Weird Things from my Trip

1) Well, I already shared the weirdest thing, which was my colleague outing himself as the dreaded Reviewer A. Man! Still getting over that one!

2) Also, on my first night I needed to get a can of soda to drink some pills with. (Sounds healthy, doesn't it). Anyway, I have an issue with swallowing pills. It's lame and it's basically that I have never mastered this basic adult competency of swallowing pills. If they're little I can handle it but if they're big it can be a problem. I have all of these weird factors that have to be in place, like I can't swallow a pill with just water, it has to be something with a strong flavor like orange juice or carbonated soda. I have to have a morsel of something to eat to chase down the pill or else I'll feel a lump in my throat all night. Even with these things in place half the time I fail at swallowing the pill and will gag it back up, slamming my hand down on the table with emphasis, arching my back, leaning way back to get gravity to help, trying to wrangle that thing down my throat.

So anyway I went to the vending closet to get ice and soda. It was a literal closet. The bottles of soda were $2.50. Crazy! But I was desperate. I plugged my 10 quarters into the machine. But nothing happened. I hit the button. No soda came out. I hit the change button, but I didn't get my change back. I didn't have enough change to try again with another machine. Hmmm, not good. I needed my cold medication to go to sleep.

Then I noticed that there was a weird handle on the machine that was...out. I started twisting it. It twisted and twisted and twisted. And then as I was twisting it, the machine opened up right in front of me! I peered in. It was empty, no bottles. It wasn't even running. No wonder I didn't get my money back. Then I realized I could open this other little door to get my money. So I did, and then piles and piles and piles and piles of coins spilled out onto the floor, creating a huge pyramid of coins!

So I picked out my 10 quarters, and then put the rest of the coins back into the machine, which was a pain, and then closed it all up, and twisted that handle again and again to secure it, and then walked up to the next floor and managed to successfully get my bottle of soda, swallow my pills (no gagging), and go to bed.

3) Our hotel is literally 2 blocks from the White House. You can look down the street and see it there, all lit up. You can wander up to the gates and gaze upon it. I should have brought my camera. Our hotel is in a totally great location.

4) I think one of my work friends, who is married, is trying to have an affair with another of my work friends, who is recently not married. It is weird and disconcerting for me to watch this play out; it plays itself out at conferences since they are in different parts of the country.

5) I taught my class remotely by Skyping in. The classroom has a laptop hooked up to a giant smart board. It worked surprisingly well. I could see everybody in the class and they could see me, and we could have a conversation that way. However, the internet connection started to get wonky towards the end and this was a significant problem.

6) My eye started hurting and getting all bloodshot and then pus started leaking out of it. So I guess it's just part of the virus that M&N gave me. Pus eye and all. Attractive, huh. I finally caved and started taking my gigantic impossible-to-swallow antibiotic, because I draw the line at pus-sy eyes.

7) (Gee, wonder why no colleagues ever want to start up affairs with me? Must have something to do with #6 and how uber-sexy I am what with the leaking eyes and all....)