Last night I couldn't really sleep. I kept tossing and turning thinking about the illegally published bill and our email and all the work I have to do. Finally around 3 I was wide awake for good and my whole body was hurting. I thought, I have reached my limit emotionally and physically. I'm so pressed with several crucial things due Monday that I've been working around the clock all week, falling into bed at 12 or 1 and up by 7. This after a whole year of work intensity and stress, and I must have been working in the same position for too long throughout Saturday and that must be why I am aching so much. I am OLD. I could do this when I was 20, but I can't really handle it anymore at almost 40. My "keep your job" pre-tenure talk for the department is on Monday. I started having a cold sweat and I thought, this is it, I have found the limit of what I can handle and I am having a panic attack. I am not as strong as I used to be.
But then a wave of nausea washed over me and I had to run to the bathroom. And I realized, oh, this isn't me having a nervous breakdown. It's just the stomach flu!
Hopefully it'll be better by tomorrow when I am giving my talk.
4 comments:
At least it's finite. -- Monday will be over soon!
I hope that you feel better quickly!
I keep thinking April is almost here. Last 4 days of data collection this week, teaching, talk today, and another talk in the math dept. Friday. If I can just make it to April 1, then I can sleep and rest and take lots of naps this weekend...
Everything seems so intense for you right now! I hope that it slows down at some point.
Thinking of you -- you're about to give your talk!
Thanks Mandy -- I think it went pretty well! :)
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