So the problem became, what next? I needed to find a new solution quickly. I immediately started looking for other nannies or caregivers, all the time getting eaten up with stress over what this might be doing to the kids. To have a sudden transition now? The one back in January was so hard on them. They cried for a month or more every time Buddy came through the door. To put them through that again? Ugh. I was eaten up with worry over the whole thing, not sleeping, not able to eat, crying at inappropriate times.
I talked to several possibilities over the phone, but wasn't finding a good fit, and we visited one very lovely man who has a neighborhood group care situation, and I could tell he was awesome with the kids but I wasn't super thrilled with his house. And then a friend told me that she thought there were still openings in the 2-year old room at this local preschool of the arts, so we checked it out and sure enough, there were. So we went to visit and it was AMAZING. It is the kind of place I'd love to hang out in every day. Gorgeous, clean, calm, beautiful, light-filled, big, filled with fish and frogs and birds and child-created art projects. They have a music room and an art room, and they dance, and they have wooden toys and a chef who makes fresh snacks daily, and the milk is organic, and the teachers are certified. The teachers are incredible and most importantly, Milo and Nora were enchanted. They were just taken with everything about it, eager to explore every new room, excited to play with the light table and the wooden instruments and watch the fish.
We spent the end of the tour in the "little kid" playground that has hills and lots of foot-bikes and logs to climb on and wind chimes in the tree and small benches and a giant sand box, and (this was a huge deal to Milo), a digger truck. Milo immediately went for the sandbox and spent the whole time happily playing in there. Nora sat on a small bench next to a little boy and told him "I have my brown shoes on!" When it was time to go, Milo got a little teary because he didn't want to leave. The whole time in the car he kept saying, "I want to go back! I want to go back right now!"
The twin whisperer watched the kids yesterday (I would have re-hired her if I could have, but she has a new commitment to a family with newborn twins who have just reached 5 lbs each). She went with us to the school and fell in love with it too. This was nice because I trust her judgment.
Best of all, they will let us do a 4-day a week contract, so that I can stay home with the kids once a week. This will be a little more affordable, too, as this place is incredibly expensive. I have seen a few different places and it really drives home that in some ways, you get what you pay for, which makes me sad because I think that all children should be able to be in a place like this, rich or poor.
If we luck out we could stay there until kindergarten, which means this is just one transition for them, which makes me glad. (They are applying to be a 4K location, as our district is starting up a 4K program). I am just so relieved that I will have a solution for the kids that is safe, healthy, beautiful, educational, pleasant, etc., and that they clearly like. I am so relieved.
It is funny how hard this hit me. It is not always easy for me to go off to work. I need to feel like I can trust whoever is taking care of M&N. I need to feel like they are in a good, healthy situation and are happy. When everything broke open last week, it was really rough. I felt so achingly sad for the kids, so wistful that I can't just stay home myself, so miserable about it all. I broke out into a rash. If I don't feel like my kids are set, then I can't do anything, I just become useless. Sometimes I think it's a miracle I ever get anything done.
For the first 4 months of the babies' lives they were cared for by us and their grandmothers. Then they had a nanny for 2 days a week until they were 9 months old, then they had a nanny for 3 days a week until they were 2 and a half years old, then in July it switched to 4 days a week. Now, at 2 years 9 months, they will go into a preschool setting 4 days a week, and we'll keep it that way for the next year. This time next year maybe we'll stay at 4 days, or maybe we'll switch to 5, we'll have to see. I'm glad that they slowly transitioned into more care over the years, and that we've had this opportunity to spend so much time with them ourselves while still working. It makes for late nights and working on the weekends for me, but I'm okay with that. I know that in 3 years, they'll be in kindergarten, and things will change all over again.
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