I think there are some mixed messages going on. According to my area colleague at U2 and the dept. chair, they have already given me an offer by telling me that they will give me an offer. This doesn't really seem the same as, you know, giving me an actual offer, but I'm not really upset about it. Yesterday I talked with the chair and he indicated that there would be no solid offer (like, with written details with stuff like salary) until I had successfully gone through a tenure review there. Not at my own institution, but at U2, which means soliciting letters again and all that. In return, I explained that I wouldn't solicit letters without a pretty firm indication that I'd go there, and I wouldn't be able to make a decision like that in absence of the details of an offer, including salary and start-up details. The chair seemed to more or less accept this and asked me to basically email him with the details of what I want in my start-up and so forth, and then he'd see if they could provide a contingent offer (contingent on my successfully going through their tenure process).
However I think it will all be moot in the end because I don't really think that there is much available for Jake. We'll see if something materializes for him, but it's not like they have a job ready to go for him or anything. Without a job for Jake, us moving there is a non-option.
It is very interesting to compare U2's attitude towards my sub-area compared to my current university's attitude. At U2, as with many universities, they are excited about my sub-area and are putting resources into building it up. It frankly amazes me that they had me visit last year, decided I'd be cool to try to recruit, and the dean actually agreed to it even though I wouldn't be filling an empty line or anything like that. They created a new line just for me. The chair basically said hey, you can take ages to decide if you want since we're not doing a search. If you want to decide in April, you can. The dean indicated to me that he'd be willing to continue to build this sub-area, as it's one they really value. They can also see the national indications that my sub-area is important and worthy of investment (this is a growing national movement in terms of policy).
What a contrast to my own institution, where our own dean doesn't give a shit about my sub-area, and consistently refuses to support it despite the fact that we are understaffed and worth building because we bring in so much money. This issue with my own dean, combined with the political nonsense (our household take home pay is now down by over 1K/month thanks to the budget repair bill), combined with consistent de-funding of education in my state, makes me dissatisfied with my current position.
The other attractive thing about U2 is my area colleague there, A. His research is so well aligned with mine that it would be exciting to collaborate and to engage with him intellectually. I miss that. They have another new colleague, and her work is also intellectually compatible with ours, and they are hiring yet another colleague (separate from my special hire thing). I miss those very exciting intellectual conversations about my specific research passion. My colleagues here are wonderful, and I love working with them, and Mentor and I do collaborate and write together. But he doesn't not share this same specific research passion that A and I share, and I miss talking about it with somebody. I think working with A would be awesome. He's super smart, and ridiculously productive.
On the other hand, leaving a very well established university, a top department, and a well-known program for a lesser-known program at a lesser-known university wouldn't be easy. I brought this up with A (delicately). I mentioned that I appreciate the interest and attention I get on a national level (at conferences, through invitations, etc.) due simply to my department and university. He said, "Are you sure it's your university? I don't think it's your university, I think it's you personally. You might not realize how well-known you are. And if you came here, to U2, then the same thing would happen and you would attract attention to U2." A was flattering me but I don't think he's totally right. I think it's probably more like 20% me, 80% my university/department. He and I are both in the same place career wise (he just went through tenure last year), and we are getting to be known, but we're not as known as full professors like Mentor, much less big huge famous near-retirement people like the guy who tried to recruit me last year.
So going to U2 would be about building. It'd be about program building at a place that is very dynamic, with tons of administrative support, a feeling of excitement about what we do, and a pretty young and energetic group of fellow researchers. Where I am now is not about building, it's more about continuing along on the reputation and history of our area -- a solid, 30-year history. Not that we're stagnating; we all have extremely active research programs and Mentor has grown really quite famous in the last 5 years or so. But it's not the same as U2, not as exuberant. We're solid. They're (maybe) up and coming.
Anyway, it's kind of moot, right? Because I don't think there will be a job for Jake.
Jake did see our dream house. I couldn't see it because of a meeting but he took a lot of video and it really is a dream house. It's the most beautiful thing in the world. That's the other thing about U2; it's in an area that is spectacularly beautiful. I just can't get over how pretty it is. I felt like my eyes were twice as big any time we went anywhere because I was so busy trying to drink it all in. I mean, even just your typical trip to the grocery store is breathtakingly beautiful.
Where I am now has its own loveliness, but it's the midwest. It's flat. Out there it's all hills and mountains covered with trees and lush greenery. I think that different people have different attractions to nature and scenery and climate. For some, the desert is stunningly beautiful with its vistas and rock formations and blooming cacti. For some, the huge snow-capped mountains out west with evergreens all over the place represents the most beautiful scenery. For some, the gentle plains of the midwest feels like home. I can appreciate all of these things but they don't hit me the way this scenery hits me. For me, apparently, what moves me the most is the rolling hills and mountains of appalachia, the tree-covered vistas of the eastern states, the brooks and pastures against the backdrop of woods, and the historic architecture of revolution-era states. That stuff feels really right to me. Maybe it's due to my family origins coming from that part of the country? I don't know. It's just the way I am.
However. U2's town is small. Like, really small. Way, way, way smaller than my current town. It has about 50K people and that's counting the 30K undergrads. Its main street downtown is about 2 blocks long. Instead of the several hundred restaurants we have here, they have maybe...10? Maybe 20 counting places like Chipotle. I mean, it's small. I think, maybe, too small. That's why the whole job-for-Jake thing matters so much, because it's not like he could just go there and find something, the way he could in a city.
When I was there, I had a talk with this old gentleman who has been at the university for 42 years. (He's probably in his seventies). He is a native of New Orleans. He wears bow ties. He is actually a prolific researcher who has won a number of writing awards and teaching awards. But he is an amazingly perceptive man, and my talk with him was really profound for me. For one thing, he is so perceptive that I really only had to hint at some of my issues and concerns and he was able to then take it and run with it, elaborating the point perfectly with a frankness I wouldn't have dared use myself. He understood my issues because U2 is in the south. As Professor bow tie put it, this brings up a number of things: Rebel flags. Living in the past. Rednecks. Guns. Evangelicalism. Hostility to outsiders. Ostracism of kids who don't go to church. I didn't say any of those things, I just hesitantly mentioned that we currently live in a different part of the country, and there would perhaps be a culture shift, and he took it and ran with it. Then he gave me his take on it. I was so impressed with his discussion.
(Also to clarify, I don't think the south is all of those things, or only those things. He was just giving voice to the most extreme version of a set of fears like that; it doesn't represent my beliefs about the south. But I have little experience with the south and many questions and concerns.)
Professor bow tie sort of speaks in allegories sometimes, which I think you're entitled to do when you reach his age, and he told me a story about a couple moving to a new town. I won't try to repeat it here because it would be lost in translation, but the basic point of it, which I found to be very moving, was that you take who you are and how you approach things to any new location, and there is joy (or sorrow) to be found anywhere no matter where you go. Even though I don't think this is absolutely true regardless of location -- I would hate the desert no matter what -- it's definitely true for this location, which has many wonderful things about it, and some drawbacks as well. Anyway, he told it so beautifully that it choked me up, as well as him.
Later that night, Jake and I went out with A and another new colleague in our sub-area, and I told them how much that discussion with Professor bow tie meant to me. A said, "He hypnotized you, didn't he. Did that bow tie start spinning?" And perhaps he did.
Even later that night, after dinner and wine and beer with A and the new colleague, and a stroll down to a pub for some more drinks, the air thick with ambiance, I knew that Jake and I would have friends at U2. We had a fabulous time with them, the kind of time where you laugh so hard for so long that your belly hurts.
So, it was a good trip, and I'm glad I went. It clarified some things for me. After my talk with Professor bow tie, I better understood my own excitement and reluctance, my sense of push-pull with this idea of going to U2. I realized I had not been focusing as heavily on one thing I can't ignore, and that is my true love and affection for my current town. My institution, dean, and governor keep pissing me off, but I feel very attached here. I truly, truly love it here and leaving would feel like a break up, it would be something to mourn. I am not anxious to leave.
No comments:
Post a Comment