Some things we saw:
Other things we saw but didn't photograph:
-- Segway tours (tourists in a group on Segways)
-- A hearse with the top cut out of the roof, and then a bar coming up out of the roof with bar stools seated around it. Tourists drank while being driven around on a ghost tour.
-- A bicycle powered bar. 8 or 10 seats all facing inward around a rectangular bar. Each seat was attached to pedals, and everybody pedaled to make the giant mobile bar move.
We didn't see:
-- Turn signals. Nobody uses them around here. It's treacherous!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Savannah
Last night we went to dinner at a place called the Pink House, which is an old mansion build in the 1700s that just went on and on and on. There were 11 of us and we ate in what used to be the ballroom, and we only occupied a small part of the room. Later we enjoyed the view from a nearby balcony. A woman in a floor-length ball gown walked around to each table to welcome us to the restaurant. She then sang for everybody in the room. You don't see that kind of thing in our town.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Different Shopping Attitudes
I no longer have any confidence to buy clothes for the kids that they don't pick out themselves, because they're so picky. Meanwhile, Nora wears about 3 different shirts and 2 different pairs of shorts, and then gets cranky when I haven't done laundry quickly enough so that she can continue wearing the exact same clothes every time. So today we headed out to the store to get a few summer clothes for the kids.
It's funny to observe how Milo is an acquirer and Nora is a minimalist. Milo: Oh, a Spiderman shirt! My very favorite! Can I have this Spiderman shirt? And oh Mommy! Look at this Star Wars shirt! And this sleeveless shirt! Can I have these shirts Mommy? Can I?
Pretty much anything I suggested for Milo, he was game. I wanted to pick out a nice collared button-down shirt for a wedding, and he was even fine with that. He kept seeing more and more clothes that he wanted.
On the other hand, with Nora, I'd say, Nora, do you like these shorts? Or these? Or how about these? Nora: No thank you. Milo: Nora, look! A Dora shirt! Do you want a Dora shirt? Nora: No, I already have a Dora thing at home. Me: How about these blue shorts, Nora? You need some shorts. Nora: I already picked out a pair of shorts Mommy! That's all I need! Basically, Nora only wanted one pair of shorts, and one t-shirt (Thomas). I had to wheedle her into accepting a couple more pairs of shorts while fending off Milo who wanted to buy every item of clothing in the place.
Milo also wanted a Spiderman action figure, a Spiderman float board, some sort of weird plastic axe / hammer thing, some baseballs, and a set of kids' golf balls and a golf club. (Spiderman is currently his favorite, basically because it is his best friend's favorite.) I said, "Maybe for your birthday." Nora didn't want anything. (I do intend to get them a few summer toys next month, but that'll be a surprise.) It was funny to me to see how Milo wanted everything under the sun and Nora just wasn't all that interested in anything. Fortunately, they both seem perfectly fine with delaying gratification and pointing out something they like that I should keep in mind for their birthday - neither kid ever whines to get a toy right away or anything like that. (Then they forget about the whole thing the next day). I wonder how long that'll last...
It's funny to observe how Milo is an acquirer and Nora is a minimalist. Milo: Oh, a Spiderman shirt! My very favorite! Can I have this Spiderman shirt? And oh Mommy! Look at this Star Wars shirt! And this sleeveless shirt! Can I have these shirts Mommy? Can I?
Pretty much anything I suggested for Milo, he was game. I wanted to pick out a nice collared button-down shirt for a wedding, and he was even fine with that. He kept seeing more and more clothes that he wanted.
On the other hand, with Nora, I'd say, Nora, do you like these shorts? Or these? Or how about these? Nora: No thank you. Milo: Nora, look! A Dora shirt! Do you want a Dora shirt? Nora: No, I already have a Dora thing at home. Me: How about these blue shorts, Nora? You need some shorts. Nora: I already picked out a pair of shorts Mommy! That's all I need! Basically, Nora only wanted one pair of shorts, and one t-shirt (Thomas). I had to wheedle her into accepting a couple more pairs of shorts while fending off Milo who wanted to buy every item of clothing in the place.
Milo also wanted a Spiderman action figure, a Spiderman float board, some sort of weird plastic axe / hammer thing, some baseballs, and a set of kids' golf balls and a golf club. (Spiderman is currently his favorite, basically because it is his best friend's favorite.) I said, "Maybe for your birthday." Nora didn't want anything. (I do intend to get them a few summer toys next month, but that'll be a surprise.) It was funny to me to see how Milo wanted everything under the sun and Nora just wasn't all that interested in anything. Fortunately, they both seem perfectly fine with delaying gratification and pointing out something they like that I should keep in mind for their birthday - neither kid ever whines to get a toy right away or anything like that. (Then they forget about the whole thing the next day). I wonder how long that'll last...
Thursday, May 24, 2012
The Subtle Effects of Tenure
I've been slowly resolving a two-day series of disagreements with Mentor. They're polite disagreements, but fairly forceful, and it is uncomfortable for me to argue. It's hard to let go of old habits (never argue, just agree, don't rock the boat, make everybody like you so that they'll support your tenure bid).
I have a longer story about this change in me that I'll tell another day, but here is a short excerpt from tonight.
Me: You know it is difficult for me to disagree with you but I think I am getting better at it.
Mentor: Tenure does wonders for one's voice!
So, so true. It changes how I interact with tenured people, and it changes how I interact with untenured people. It just changes things.
I have a longer story about this change in me that I'll tell another day, but here is a short excerpt from tonight.
Me: You know it is difficult for me to disagree with you but I think I am getting better at it.
Mentor: Tenure does wonders for one's voice!
So, so true. It changes how I interact with tenured people, and it changes how I interact with untenured people. It just changes things.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Lunch at the student union terrace
Ice cream is an important part of the terrace experience! Almost as important as beer.
Nora, you want me to, like, give you a wipe for your mouth or something? Or maybe brush your hair and adjust that headband? No? Okay.
They recently added some blue chairs to the terrace. For years (decades?) it's only been green, orange, and yellow. The blue chairs have caused quite a stir, believe it or not.
The giant orange chair is still our favorite.
Nora, you want me to, like, give you a wipe for your mouth or something? Or maybe brush your hair and adjust that headband? No? Okay.
They recently added some blue chairs to the terrace. For years (decades?) it's only been green, orange, and yellow. The blue chairs have caused quite a stir, believe it or not.
The giant orange chair is still our favorite.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Losing Battles?
These words bug me:
1) Veggies. Why can't we say vegetables? Do we have to give this a cutesy word like veggies? This one is so common that it's less annoying than the next three, somehow...
2) Cardi. Really? Cardi? You can't say cardigan, which is a perfectly good already existing word? Again, too cutesy.
3) Lil. Or lil'. Come on. Do we really need to talk like we're a member of the Little Rascals? It is not that hard to type out little.
4) Prolly. Ugh. This is the worst one of all. If you're typing "prolly", you either don't know how to spell probably, or you've decided to acquire an affectation that makes you sound like a 6-year old girl. With a maturity level to match.
I'd be hard pressed to think of a full grown man who would use these words. Maybe veggies is starting to sneak its way into the common vernacular, but I doubt most men would say "cardi".
I have noticed that I have a lot of writing pet peeves. It's kind of a losing battle, too. Every year I make the same speeches about them to my grad students (we don't write "people that...", it's "people who...") but it doesn't make much of a difference. They do it anyway, and some of them even do it on purpose occasionally just to bug me (ahem, "impact"). It's funny that I care about these things since I break so many writing and grammatical rules myself. So I guess I'm being pretty hypocritical. I've probably acquired these peeves because I have to read so many flipping drafts of theses, prelims, proposals, and dissertations, oh my. Reading student drafts is much, much more exhausting than reading published work. Amen.
But at least none of my students ever use the words veggies, cardi, lil, or prolly in their drafts. So it could be worse!
1) Veggies. Why can't we say vegetables? Do we have to give this a cutesy word like veggies? This one is so common that it's less annoying than the next three, somehow...
2) Cardi. Really? Cardi? You can't say cardigan, which is a perfectly good already existing word? Again, too cutesy.
3) Lil. Or lil'. Come on. Do we really need to talk like we're a member of the Little Rascals? It is not that hard to type out little.
4) Prolly. Ugh. This is the worst one of all. If you're typing "prolly", you either don't know how to spell probably, or you've decided to acquire an affectation that makes you sound like a 6-year old girl. With a maturity level to match.
I'd be hard pressed to think of a full grown man who would use these words. Maybe veggies is starting to sneak its way into the common vernacular, but I doubt most men would say "cardi".
I have noticed that I have a lot of writing pet peeves. It's kind of a losing battle, too. Every year I make the same speeches about them to my grad students (we don't write "people that...", it's "people who...") but it doesn't make much of a difference. They do it anyway, and some of them even do it on purpose occasionally just to bug me (ahem, "impact"). It's funny that I care about these things since I break so many writing and grammatical rules myself. So I guess I'm being pretty hypocritical. I've probably acquired these peeves because I have to read so many flipping drafts of theses, prelims, proposals, and dissertations, oh my. Reading student drafts is much, much more exhausting than reading published work. Amen.
But at least none of my students ever use the words veggies, cardi, lil, or prolly in their drafts. So it could be worse!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Summer Plans
I'm excited about a bunch of neat stuff we have planned for summer!
a) This month I'm going to a little conference in Savannah, which is a town I've always wanted to visit. There is a just-graduated colleague who wants to collaborate on a potential grant with me and my post doc, so we'll spend some time at that conference brainstorming grant ideas. Also, one of my intellectual heroes will be at the conference too. He's the guy who offered me a job last year that I turned down, and it was all awkward, and I think he was really bummed but he was nice about it. Then I wrote a paper for a monograph and he wrote a commentary on it. Recently he told me he's eager to discuss the paper at this conference, which will be great, I hope, and probably very helpful as I revise the paper for a journal. (Still kind of scary, though. He's so smart and his ideas are so much more sophisticated than mine that I am intimidated.)
Also, Jake is coming down to join me for the latter half and we're staying a couple of days after the conference ends to be tourists and have a little vacation! I am really looking forward to that.
b) Then like a week after that, in June, I'm going to DC for another conference. There I'll be on a panel discussing this particular methodology that I'm just starting to dip my toes into, but everybody else on the panel is super super advanced in this methodology, having done it for years and years. So that's a little nerve wracking, but I think I'll learn a lot and it'll be good for me.
c) Then in July a friend of mine in my field is coming to our town for about a week! She's going to do some work while she's here, and I'll show her around, and then we got this bright idea - what if we invite some other women in our field to town for a mini writing workshop, where we work together on our writing? So we invited 4 other women, and they're all going to come! Two will come in the middle of the week and the other two will come at the end of the week. So fun! I'm really psyched that I get to have visitors and talk and share with people, especially my friend who will be here for a week.
d) Then in early August, I'm going to go to the bay area for my teacher-friends reunion! It will have been almost 2 years since we've all been together, and even more exciting, one of them will have a new baby (due in a few weeks)! So I get to see all of my friends and also meet one of their new babies!
e) Then in late August, we're all going to go to my mom's house for about a week! And my sister and her family will be there too! Super fun. Oh, and supposedly I'm supposed to spend 2 days while I'm there being on an advisory panel, but the idiot budget people at that university haven't been able to pay me for the work I did on that panel over a year ago, so I'm not going to do it if I don't get paid by then. I mean, I'll still help out here and there for free, but I'm not going to take 2 days away from my vacation to sit in advisory panel meetings for free.
Other things: I signed the kids up for swimming lessons again. I also feel like I should get Milo into baseball, since baseball is his preferred sport if he has to pick. But they still all happen during his nap time, so I'm not doing it. I am starting to feel a little bit like the lame parent who doesn't sign her kids up for activities, but, I mean, going to school 4 days a week should count, right? Plus, he still needs his nap. Nora could give hers up, but Milo still sleeps a solid 3 hours in the afternoon, even though he's 4. Who am I to argue with that? He's always been a big sleeper.
Jake's mom is already bugging us about when we'll go up north. I'm prepared to sacrifice one weekend this summer to that, but any more and Jake can take them on his own. Thankfully, they're old enough now for that! It's nice up there, but it is really tough on me not sleeping for a whole weekend, which is what happens every. single. time. There is only one person out of the 4 of us who actually gets any sleep, and it's Jake.
Writing plans:
1) Conference monograph into journal article, goal: out the door this summer
2) Collaborative with post-doc paper, goal: out the door this summer
3) Second collaborative with post-doc paper (her 1st author), goal: help her out on it and follow her timeline (probably it'll go out this summer)
4) New-to-me methodology paper, goal: drafted by the end of the summer
5) New co-authored book with Mentor, goal: Outline by Sept. 30
Another book? I've been saying to myself, no more books for a while! But then this book opportunity came up, and I thought, oh, that one sounds kind of interesting...so I said yes.
Anyway, I'm hoping that these concrete writing plans will get me past the classic post-tenure slump, which I do think has plagued me a bit over the past 6 months or so. Either way, it's going to be an exciting summer!
a) This month I'm going to a little conference in Savannah, which is a town I've always wanted to visit. There is a just-graduated colleague who wants to collaborate on a potential grant with me and my post doc, so we'll spend some time at that conference brainstorming grant ideas. Also, one of my intellectual heroes will be at the conference too. He's the guy who offered me a job last year that I turned down, and it was all awkward, and I think he was really bummed but he was nice about it. Then I wrote a paper for a monograph and he wrote a commentary on it. Recently he told me he's eager to discuss the paper at this conference, which will be great, I hope, and probably very helpful as I revise the paper for a journal. (Still kind of scary, though. He's so smart and his ideas are so much more sophisticated than mine that I am intimidated.)
Also, Jake is coming down to join me for the latter half and we're staying a couple of days after the conference ends to be tourists and have a little vacation! I am really looking forward to that.
b) Then like a week after that, in June, I'm going to DC for another conference. There I'll be on a panel discussing this particular methodology that I'm just starting to dip my toes into, but everybody else on the panel is super super advanced in this methodology, having done it for years and years. So that's a little nerve wracking, but I think I'll learn a lot and it'll be good for me.
c) Then in July a friend of mine in my field is coming to our town for about a week! She's going to do some work while she's here, and I'll show her around, and then we got this bright idea - what if we invite some other women in our field to town for a mini writing workshop, where we work together on our writing? So we invited 4 other women, and they're all going to come! Two will come in the middle of the week and the other two will come at the end of the week. So fun! I'm really psyched that I get to have visitors and talk and share with people, especially my friend who will be here for a week.
d) Then in early August, I'm going to go to the bay area for my teacher-friends reunion! It will have been almost 2 years since we've all been together, and even more exciting, one of them will have a new baby (due in a few weeks)! So I get to see all of my friends and also meet one of their new babies!
e) Then in late August, we're all going to go to my mom's house for about a week! And my sister and her family will be there too! Super fun. Oh, and supposedly I'm supposed to spend 2 days while I'm there being on an advisory panel, but the idiot budget people at that university haven't been able to pay me for the work I did on that panel over a year ago, so I'm not going to do it if I don't get paid by then. I mean, I'll still help out here and there for free, but I'm not going to take 2 days away from my vacation to sit in advisory panel meetings for free.
Other things: I signed the kids up for swimming lessons again. I also feel like I should get Milo into baseball, since baseball is his preferred sport if he has to pick. But they still all happen during his nap time, so I'm not doing it. I am starting to feel a little bit like the lame parent who doesn't sign her kids up for activities, but, I mean, going to school 4 days a week should count, right? Plus, he still needs his nap. Nora could give hers up, but Milo still sleeps a solid 3 hours in the afternoon, even though he's 4. Who am I to argue with that? He's always been a big sleeper.
Jake's mom is already bugging us about when we'll go up north. I'm prepared to sacrifice one weekend this summer to that, but any more and Jake can take them on his own. Thankfully, they're old enough now for that! It's nice up there, but it is really tough on me not sleeping for a whole weekend, which is what happens every. single. time. There is only one person out of the 4 of us who actually gets any sleep, and it's Jake.
Writing plans:
1) Conference monograph into journal article, goal: out the door this summer
2) Collaborative with post-doc paper, goal: out the door this summer
3) Second collaborative with post-doc paper (her 1st author), goal: help her out on it and follow her timeline (probably it'll go out this summer)
4) New-to-me methodology paper, goal: drafted by the end of the summer
5) New co-authored book with Mentor, goal: Outline by Sept. 30
Another book? I've been saying to myself, no more books for a while! But then this book opportunity came up, and I thought, oh, that one sounds kind of interesting...so I said yes.
Anyway, I'm hoping that these concrete writing plans will get me past the classic post-tenure slump, which I do think has plagued me a bit over the past 6 months or so. Either way, it's going to be an exciting summer!
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Shyness
I've always found it interesting to track the kids' waxing and waning shyness over the years. I used to think that being shy or not being shy was an issue of temperament, sort of constant throughout, but with M&N it has shifted back and forth a lot. Also, when one child is in a shy phase, the other one will switch to an outgoing phase. They seem to take turns.
So I remember when the kids were babies, Milo did not feel so great about other people. This first became apparent when he was just a few months old and our friends came over and he was on the floor under his baby gym thing. One of them touched his toe and said hello to him and he just totally freaked out. I mean, screaming like he was terrorized. I had to take him into another room to calm him down. Meanwhile, Nora was totally fine with anybody and everybody. I remember we went to a Mother's Day picnic sort of thing when the babies were 5 months old and I frequently had to walk away from the group with Milo to help him feel more comfortable. He didn't even like being around all of those people, even when I was holding him. Meanwhile, Nora was getting passed around from person to person and didn't care who the heck was holding her.
Fast forward to when they were twoish, and they had totally traded places. Nora was so shy and concerned about strangers that if we were on the sidewalk and somebody came walking toward us, she'd get upset and need me to hold her. Never mind talking to people. She'd bury her head in my shoulder and wouldn't talk to anybody. Milo, however, was mr. friendly, going around to anybody and everybody saying, "Hi! Hi! Hi!" This was still what they were like when they started school at almost 3, so Nora sort of got the reputation as being a little withdrawn and Milo got the reputation of being outgoing. Nora didn't really have much interest in playing with the other children, except Milo, and wanted to mostly hang around her teachers. Milo would play with anybody.
Now they're 4 and they have switched places again. Milo isn't shy, per se, but he definitely clams up when new people are around, or when he's in a large group. He gets very quiet and isn't really into talking to strangers. He'll talk to other kids, though. It's really interesting to watch Milo deliberately lower his voice when he's playing with other boys, trying to appear older, like a tough guy.
Nora, on the other hand, will currently talk to anybody. About anything. Like, we're at the pharmacy picking up an ear drops prescription for Milo. I tell the pharmacist, he just had tubes put in. And then Nora pipes up, "AND I'M CONSTIPATED!" Or we'll be walking along the sidewalk and pass some random stranger and Nora will say, "I'M FOUR AND A THIRD!" Doesn't matter who it is, she'll strike up a conversation (about herself).
I guess shyness isn't a constant thing, at least with these kids at this point. That's true of me, too, I suppose. I've mostly thought of myself as shy all my life, but I'm not really like that anymore. Or rather, I have learned the skills to interact with new people despite the fact that I don't really like new people. Recently at a conference I was searching around for this friend I wanted to have lunch with. I finally found him and a couple of his friends and as we all started walking to lunch, I ran into this random person, and then that person who wanted to say hello, and more and more people started joining us and my friend said, "You're such a gregarious person that pretty soon we'll have 30 people coming to lunch with us." And I was like, what? You mean shy, not gregarious, right? Also, he's the really outgoing one. It turns out that each of us perceives the other as gregarious, while we both perceive ourselves as shy. So I guess there is a difference between how you feel, and how you're able to act, which, thank goodness. Otherwise, I'd probably spend my life as the little troll scowling in the corner.
So I remember when the kids were babies, Milo did not feel so great about other people. This first became apparent when he was just a few months old and our friends came over and he was on the floor under his baby gym thing. One of them touched his toe and said hello to him and he just totally freaked out. I mean, screaming like he was terrorized. I had to take him into another room to calm him down. Meanwhile, Nora was totally fine with anybody and everybody. I remember we went to a Mother's Day picnic sort of thing when the babies were 5 months old and I frequently had to walk away from the group with Milo to help him feel more comfortable. He didn't even like being around all of those people, even when I was holding him. Meanwhile, Nora was getting passed around from person to person and didn't care who the heck was holding her.
Fast forward to when they were twoish, and they had totally traded places. Nora was so shy and concerned about strangers that if we were on the sidewalk and somebody came walking toward us, she'd get upset and need me to hold her. Never mind talking to people. She'd bury her head in my shoulder and wouldn't talk to anybody. Milo, however, was mr. friendly, going around to anybody and everybody saying, "Hi! Hi! Hi!" This was still what they were like when they started school at almost 3, so Nora sort of got the reputation as being a little withdrawn and Milo got the reputation of being outgoing. Nora didn't really have much interest in playing with the other children, except Milo, and wanted to mostly hang around her teachers. Milo would play with anybody.
Now they're 4 and they have switched places again. Milo isn't shy, per se, but he definitely clams up when new people are around, or when he's in a large group. He gets very quiet and isn't really into talking to strangers. He'll talk to other kids, though. It's really interesting to watch Milo deliberately lower his voice when he's playing with other boys, trying to appear older, like a tough guy.
Nora, on the other hand, will currently talk to anybody. About anything. Like, we're at the pharmacy picking up an ear drops prescription for Milo. I tell the pharmacist, he just had tubes put in. And then Nora pipes up, "AND I'M CONSTIPATED!" Or we'll be walking along the sidewalk and pass some random stranger and Nora will say, "I'M FOUR AND A THIRD!" Doesn't matter who it is, she'll strike up a conversation (about herself).
I guess shyness isn't a constant thing, at least with these kids at this point. That's true of me, too, I suppose. I've mostly thought of myself as shy all my life, but I'm not really like that anymore. Or rather, I have learned the skills to interact with new people despite the fact that I don't really like new people. Recently at a conference I was searching around for this friend I wanted to have lunch with. I finally found him and a couple of his friends and as we all started walking to lunch, I ran into this random person, and then that person who wanted to say hello, and more and more people started joining us and my friend said, "You're such a gregarious person that pretty soon we'll have 30 people coming to lunch with us." And I was like, what? You mean shy, not gregarious, right? Also, he's the really outgoing one. It turns out that each of us perceives the other as gregarious, while we both perceive ourselves as shy. So I guess there is a difference between how you feel, and how you're able to act, which, thank goodness. Otherwise, I'd probably spend my life as the little troll scowling in the corner.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Weekend Stuff
1. It was really hot today, like 88 degrees. Awesome! Still cool enough in the morning for a nice 4-mile run, barefoot, no pain!
2. Jake's parents have returned from FL and are here this weekend on their way back to their home up north. I spent the whole afternoon cooking. I forgot how they drink cocktails every evening at 5. It is definitely a fun tradition! But not one I could indulge in regularly.
3. Milo is getting a weird sort of attitude and makes these come backs now. Like, say he's racing somewhere and trips, and we'll say, "Whoa, slow down dude." And he'll say, "YOU slow down." Um, aren't you a little young for that kind of thing? And also, that doesn't make any sense. You're doing it wrong.
4. Nora is totally starting to read stuff on her own now. Today she was looking at a book title and sounded out "Babar". She's pretty psyched about this whole thing and regularly asks me, "Am I starting to learn how to read? Am I figuring out how to read words?"
5. A long time ago Mentor and I applied for a grant. I was pretty hopeless about our chances of getting it for two reasons. One, there were 900 letters of intent and they are going to fund about 30. I think in the end the real number of applications was a little over 500, but still, the odds are lousy. Two, Mentor applied for 3 grants, and I know he's going to get one of them because it's one that NSF asked him to submit because they want to fund a continuation of a project he's currently doing. (That's not the one I'm involved in). So would they really want to fund 2 out of 30 to the same PI? I highly doubt it.
But, when I was at a conference a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine asked if I'd heard back yet on the grant. I said no. He said, "Well, we didn't get ours. And so-and-so from xyz heard back too that they didn't get it, and so did so-and-so from abc, and..." As I chatted with people I found out that a number of people have heard back already. The fact that we haven't probably means it made it through the 1st round of review, so now I have the tiniest modicum of hope. We keep thinking we'll hear soon, and then each day passes and we hear nothing, and my hope grows a little. This is hard because I don't want to get my hopes too high. I really want this grant but need to stay realistic.
6. Nora wants to be Superman when she grows up. Then she corrects herself and says, "I want to be Supergirl."
2. Jake's parents have returned from FL and are here this weekend on their way back to their home up north. I spent the whole afternoon cooking. I forgot how they drink cocktails every evening at 5. It is definitely a fun tradition! But not one I could indulge in regularly.
3. Milo is getting a weird sort of attitude and makes these come backs now. Like, say he's racing somewhere and trips, and we'll say, "Whoa, slow down dude." And he'll say, "YOU slow down." Um, aren't you a little young for that kind of thing? And also, that doesn't make any sense. You're doing it wrong.
4. Nora is totally starting to read stuff on her own now. Today she was looking at a book title and sounded out "Babar". She's pretty psyched about this whole thing and regularly asks me, "Am I starting to learn how to read? Am I figuring out how to read words?"
5. A long time ago Mentor and I applied for a grant. I was pretty hopeless about our chances of getting it for two reasons. One, there were 900 letters of intent and they are going to fund about 30. I think in the end the real number of applications was a little over 500, but still, the odds are lousy. Two, Mentor applied for 3 grants, and I know he's going to get one of them because it's one that NSF asked him to submit because they want to fund a continuation of a project he's currently doing. (That's not the one I'm involved in). So would they really want to fund 2 out of 30 to the same PI? I highly doubt it.
But, when I was at a conference a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine asked if I'd heard back yet on the grant. I said no. He said, "Well, we didn't get ours. And so-and-so from xyz heard back too that they didn't get it, and so did so-and-so from abc, and..." As I chatted with people I found out that a number of people have heard back already. The fact that we haven't probably means it made it through the 1st round of review, so now I have the tiniest modicum of hope. We keep thinking we'll hear soon, and then each day passes and we hear nothing, and my hope grows a little. This is hard because I don't want to get my hopes too high. I really want this grant but need to stay realistic.
6. Nora wants to be Superman when she grows up. Then she corrects herself and says, "I want to be Supergirl."
Friday, May 18, 2012
This is Why I Don't Visit
So, there is an uber-conservative group, an offshoot of ALEC, full of business people and tea party members and people who run private, for-profit schools like Kipp, and they have a sham "research" organization that is aimed at "grading" teacher education programs. Their intention is to give all of the teacher ed programs failing grades, and highly publicize these "results", which they do, to convince everybody that teacher ed programs should be eliminated. They don't actually have any scientists or researchers on their organization, but what they do is conduct fake studies based on things like class syllabi and then create sham reports that they release grading various schools of education. They look reasonable at first glance, but then you realize that the reports are actually based on no data, they don't publicize their analysis criteria, or their methods, and every report comes out with a failing grade or a near failing grade. (Suffice it to say, this sort of thing would never make it past peer review. It's a biiiiig red flag when a group doesn't release its methods.)
Their goal is to a) eliminate teacher ed programs, and b) privatize education.
They have an enormous budget and an enormous PR campaign. And lots of people listen to them. In fact, they're going to start publishing their reports in U.S. News and World Report (who is trying to survive in this time of terrible sales).
They do things like hire students to solicit syllabi from professors, pretending they're interested in a course, and then turning the syllabi over to this organization.
Anyway, this organization is going after the program I work in. This was expected, because they're going after all the top-rated schools of education (and our dept. is rated #1 in the country). They solicited some syllabi in general, and made a couple of very specific syllabus requests: they requested the release of my syllabus for an undergrad class I teach, and they requested Mentor's syllabus for an undergrad class he teaches. Our university refused the request under intellectual property arguments. The organization has now filed a lawsuit to get our syllabi. In the past year our state government made a new law that says you can file a lawsuit like this in any county in the state. So the organization filed the lawsuit in the most conservative county in our state, with the most conservative appellate court. The current expectation is that the university is going to ultimately settle with this organization, because the lawsuit would probably prevail, and settling avoids setting a legal precedent. At that time, my syllabus will be subpoenaed. If I don't comply, I'd be in contempt of court.
One might ask, why bother resisting this? I am not ashamed of my syllabus or the course I created. It is an excellent course and I am proud of it. (And, when colleagues ask for my syllabus so that they can use or adapt it, I freely give it out.) In addition, they're going to create their report regardless, and it will be negative regardless. The actual content of our syllabi will be irrelevant to this outcome. For me, it's more a desire to not comply, indeed to protest, this unethical set of actions. I don't want to condone it, I don't want to be a part of it, I don't want to be under attack programmatically or personally, even though that is what is going to happen.
All of this is to explain what I am about to write below; it's to set the stage, to explain that this current lawsuit is just the latest in attack after attack after attack on my profession, my values, my research, and my way of life. I live with this every day.
***************************
Several weeks ago I got dragged into a conversation with a lot of neo-liberal bullshit about education, and it is still bothering me.
Why do these conversations enact such a high mental and emotional cost? Why is it hard for me to let it go?
It's because I am embattled. It's because I have to live it both professionally and personally. I am steeped in attacks against education and against public workers on multiple levels: local, state, and national. I must address this in my professional life, I write about it, I respond to discussions about it, I read about it. I am confronted with it in my personal life with every other news story that comes across my desk. I have to deal with it with my grad students, facing a job market in which budget crises, loss of tenure-track faculty lines, and conversion to for-profit practices are going to be a part of their new reality as they struggle to actually carve out lives as educators in the face of the CEO corporate model eagerly and gleefully taking over education at the expense of the poor. I have to deal with it with my undergrads, struggling with them to think through why it even makes sense for them to go into teaching at this point given the systematic and ongoing attack on their autonomy, their ability to make a decent living, and their self respect as actual professionals. I have to deal with it personally, as I come off of three years of pay cuts from furloughs, six years of no merit raises and no cost-of-living raises, and a significant pay cut this year thanks to the tea party politics of my governor and state legislators bent on destroying public institutions.
In that conversation I shared some news with this conservative Bush-voting millionaire -- who pretends to care about teachers' lives -- about what our governor had just done. Not only has our governor capped pay increases for teachers and systematically attacked teachers' workplace protections, wages, and benefits, 3 weeks ago he went even farther. He has crafted an executive order that allows for the redefinition of the pay schedule for experienced teachers, which enables districts to eliminate add ons, like advanced degrees, that increase teachers' salaries. So, for instance, that master's degree your kid's chemistry teacher got 15 years ago is no longer going to count towards her salary. For some teachers, this can result in a pay cut of up to 30%. Think about that. THIRTY PERCENT. Think about it some more. Imagine you're a 50-year old teacher who has been in the system for 28 years. You've got two kids in college. You plan to retire in 14 years. And now your salary is getting cut by 30%, and there is nothing you can do about it. When I shared this story with the Bush-voting conservative, he said, "and is that a bad thing?"
Are you fucking kidding me? Are you so out of touch that you don't understand that this is a bad thing?
Here's the thing. I am embattled both professionally and personally, and I cannot escape it. The wealthy white men who made their fortunes in business and now want to talk about this shit with me? Who want to argue their points aggressively in some sort of education debate? For them, it's a fucking hobby. It's a political point of interest, it's a hobby horse. It doesn't affect their lives as they pay for their daughters' lavish weddings or trips to Italy. It doesn't touch every part of their personal and professional lives. They can end that conversation and go back to their fucking golf game. I end that conversation and return to about twelve other conversations of the same ilk. This is why I struggle to let these things go.
Do I sound angry? Because I am. I'm angry.
I also need to do what is necessary to protect myself. And that includes not spending time with people like this having these kinds of conversations. Sorry. It's nothing personal. But I spend enough of my time fighting these issues. I don't need to voluntarily do it any more than necessary. I don't want to spend every day pissed off about stuff. So that means surrounding myself with people whose values align with my own.
Their goal is to a) eliminate teacher ed programs, and b) privatize education.
They have an enormous budget and an enormous PR campaign. And lots of people listen to them. In fact, they're going to start publishing their reports in U.S. News and World Report (who is trying to survive in this time of terrible sales).
They do things like hire students to solicit syllabi from professors, pretending they're interested in a course, and then turning the syllabi over to this organization.
Anyway, this organization is going after the program I work in. This was expected, because they're going after all the top-rated schools of education (and our dept. is rated #1 in the country). They solicited some syllabi in general, and made a couple of very specific syllabus requests: they requested the release of my syllabus for an undergrad class I teach, and they requested Mentor's syllabus for an undergrad class he teaches. Our university refused the request under intellectual property arguments. The organization has now filed a lawsuit to get our syllabi. In the past year our state government made a new law that says you can file a lawsuit like this in any county in the state. So the organization filed the lawsuit in the most conservative county in our state, with the most conservative appellate court. The current expectation is that the university is going to ultimately settle with this organization, because the lawsuit would probably prevail, and settling avoids setting a legal precedent. At that time, my syllabus will be subpoenaed. If I don't comply, I'd be in contempt of court.
One might ask, why bother resisting this? I am not ashamed of my syllabus or the course I created. It is an excellent course and I am proud of it. (And, when colleagues ask for my syllabus so that they can use or adapt it, I freely give it out.) In addition, they're going to create their report regardless, and it will be negative regardless. The actual content of our syllabi will be irrelevant to this outcome. For me, it's more a desire to not comply, indeed to protest, this unethical set of actions. I don't want to condone it, I don't want to be a part of it, I don't want to be under attack programmatically or personally, even though that is what is going to happen.
All of this is to explain what I am about to write below; it's to set the stage, to explain that this current lawsuit is just the latest in attack after attack after attack on my profession, my values, my research, and my way of life. I live with this every day.
***************************
Several weeks ago I got dragged into a conversation with a lot of neo-liberal bullshit about education, and it is still bothering me.
Why do these conversations enact such a high mental and emotional cost? Why is it hard for me to let it go?
It's because I am embattled. It's because I have to live it both professionally and personally. I am steeped in attacks against education and against public workers on multiple levels: local, state, and national. I must address this in my professional life, I write about it, I respond to discussions about it, I read about it. I am confronted with it in my personal life with every other news story that comes across my desk. I have to deal with it with my grad students, facing a job market in which budget crises, loss of tenure-track faculty lines, and conversion to for-profit practices are going to be a part of their new reality as they struggle to actually carve out lives as educators in the face of the CEO corporate model eagerly and gleefully taking over education at the expense of the poor. I have to deal with it with my undergrads, struggling with them to think through why it even makes sense for them to go into teaching at this point given the systematic and ongoing attack on their autonomy, their ability to make a decent living, and their self respect as actual professionals. I have to deal with it personally, as I come off of three years of pay cuts from furloughs, six years of no merit raises and no cost-of-living raises, and a significant pay cut this year thanks to the tea party politics of my governor and state legislators bent on destroying public institutions.
In that conversation I shared some news with this conservative Bush-voting millionaire -- who pretends to care about teachers' lives -- about what our governor had just done. Not only has our governor capped pay increases for teachers and systematically attacked teachers' workplace protections, wages, and benefits, 3 weeks ago he went even farther. He has crafted an executive order that allows for the redefinition of the pay schedule for experienced teachers, which enables districts to eliminate add ons, like advanced degrees, that increase teachers' salaries. So, for instance, that master's degree your kid's chemistry teacher got 15 years ago is no longer going to count towards her salary. For some teachers, this can result in a pay cut of up to 30%. Think about that. THIRTY PERCENT. Think about it some more. Imagine you're a 50-year old teacher who has been in the system for 28 years. You've got two kids in college. You plan to retire in 14 years. And now your salary is getting cut by 30%, and there is nothing you can do about it. When I shared this story with the Bush-voting conservative, he said, "and is that a bad thing?"
Are you fucking kidding me? Are you so out of touch that you don't understand that this is a bad thing?
Here's the thing. I am embattled both professionally and personally, and I cannot escape it. The wealthy white men who made their fortunes in business and now want to talk about this shit with me? Who want to argue their points aggressively in some sort of education debate? For them, it's a fucking hobby. It's a political point of interest, it's a hobby horse. It doesn't affect their lives as they pay for their daughters' lavish weddings or trips to Italy. It doesn't touch every part of their personal and professional lives. They can end that conversation and go back to their fucking golf game. I end that conversation and return to about twelve other conversations of the same ilk. This is why I struggle to let these things go.
Do I sound angry? Because I am. I'm angry.
I also need to do what is necessary to protect myself. And that includes not spending time with people like this having these kinds of conversations. Sorry. It's nothing personal. But I spend enough of my time fighting these issues. I don't need to voluntarily do it any more than necessary. I don't want to spend every day pissed off about stuff. So that means surrounding myself with people whose values align with my own.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Literacy
This morning on the way back from the children's museum the kids were asking me to spell various words for them. They then started asking about spelling just letters or sounds, like "B", or "D", etc. Nora asked, "Does every letter start with itself?" (For instance, "Dee" starts with "D", "Bee" starts with "B", etc.) Without thinking about it much, I said yes.
Then tonight at dinner, Nora said, "I thought of a letter that doesn't start with itself. 'C'. It sounds like 'see', so 'C' starts with 'S'. Not with 'C', which is a 'Cuh' sound."
Two things strike me here. One, how the heck do kids ever learn to read and spell (in English)? Because we have so many exceptions, so many idiosyncratic spellings, so many illogical ways to spell a word, it's a miracle kids ever learn to read at all. Two, Nora is a very logical kid!
Then tonight at dinner, Nora said, "I thought of a letter that doesn't start with itself. 'C'. It sounds like 'see', so 'C' starts with 'S'. Not with 'C', which is a 'Cuh' sound."
Two things strike me here. One, how the heck do kids ever learn to read and spell (in English)? Because we have so many exceptions, so many idiosyncratic spellings, so many illogical ways to spell a word, it's a miracle kids ever learn to read at all. Two, Nora is a very logical kid!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Hmmmmm
Unsurprisingly, the U.S. ranks dead last on breastfeeding support policies. We're also the only developed country with no maternity leave policy.
So, let's see. We put out magazine covers with provocative breastfeeding images with captions asking us if we're mom enough. We create commercials terrorizing women into thinking that formula feeding is akin to riding a mechanical bull while pregnant. We have the slogan "breast is best", and we have La Leche League. And we also have no paid parental leave policy and no paid nursing breaks for new mothers.
So as far as I can figure, we're making it extremely difficult for most working mothers to breastfeed (and in many jobs, it's impossible) while simultaneously creating a culture in which you are definitely a second-class mother if you don't breastfeed. Now I'm no conspiracy theorist, but I just have to wonder about this cultural obsession with breastfeeding. It just happens to be the one thing you can't do easily while working many jobs. Seems to me that if policy makers really cared about breastfeeding, they'd enact policies to actually support mothers' abilities to do so. Instead we've got this strong pressure to breastfeed without the supports in place to help mothers do it...unless, of course, they quit their jobs. Then it becomes a lot easier.
It makes a person wonder.
When I was pregnant and trying to figure out how I'd ever manage to breastfeed twins, I discovered that there was a LLL multiples meeting. I was encouraged to attend before I delivered, so that I could make some connections, get some help and advice, etc. So I called up the leader to find out when and where the meetings were. Well, they met once a week. At 10:00 a.m. On a Tuesday.
I was like, "Uh, I teach then. Do you have any evening or weekend meetings that I could attend?" No. They did not. So who gets the benefit of these supports? Not working women.
I personally had it lucky. It's much easier to keep breastfeeding when you have a super flexible job, a private office for pumping, and enough saved sick leave to use the FMLA to at least stay home for a couple of months after delivery. But my job is not the norm. How exactly are women who work less flexible or hourly jobs supposed to do it? I don't think we really care, as a nation, about the health and well being of babies and kids. If we cared, we'd change our policies. I think we're more interested in profit margins and the economy.
So, let's see. We put out magazine covers with provocative breastfeeding images with captions asking us if we're mom enough. We create commercials terrorizing women into thinking that formula feeding is akin to riding a mechanical bull while pregnant. We have the slogan "breast is best", and we have La Leche League. And we also have no paid parental leave policy and no paid nursing breaks for new mothers.
So as far as I can figure, we're making it extremely difficult for most working mothers to breastfeed (and in many jobs, it's impossible) while simultaneously creating a culture in which you are definitely a second-class mother if you don't breastfeed. Now I'm no conspiracy theorist, but I just have to wonder about this cultural obsession with breastfeeding. It just happens to be the one thing you can't do easily while working many jobs. Seems to me that if policy makers really cared about breastfeeding, they'd enact policies to actually support mothers' abilities to do so. Instead we've got this strong pressure to breastfeed without the supports in place to help mothers do it...unless, of course, they quit their jobs. Then it becomes a lot easier.
It makes a person wonder.
When I was pregnant and trying to figure out how I'd ever manage to breastfeed twins, I discovered that there was a LLL multiples meeting. I was encouraged to attend before I delivered, so that I could make some connections, get some help and advice, etc. So I called up the leader to find out when and where the meetings were. Well, they met once a week. At 10:00 a.m. On a Tuesday.
I was like, "Uh, I teach then. Do you have any evening or weekend meetings that I could attend?" No. They did not. So who gets the benefit of these supports? Not working women.
I personally had it lucky. It's much easier to keep breastfeeding when you have a super flexible job, a private office for pumping, and enough saved sick leave to use the FMLA to at least stay home for a couple of months after delivery. But my job is not the norm. How exactly are women who work less flexible or hourly jobs supposed to do it? I don't think we really care, as a nation, about the health and well being of babies and kids. If we cared, we'd change our policies. I think we're more interested in profit margins and the economy.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Three I Guess
1. A while back I was in the shower and noticed a lump on my ribcage about an inch in diameter. Jake was worried about it, because he's a hypochondriac (especially on my behalf), but I wasn't worried. The ribcage doesn't seem like much of a worrisome place to find something like that. Nevertheless, I called the doctor and long story short got scheduled to see the surgeon today to check it out. Well, the surgeon said that it is just a harmless fibroma, so nothing to worry about. That's good news.
2. My new goal is to be in bed by 10:30 at night and turn out the light by 11. So that I can try to not feel so tired all the time. But wait. It's 10:55 now. Why am I so bad at going to bed? I just don't feel tired at the right times.
Also, night time is my only time to myself. It's hard to give that up. But maybe it'd be easier if I started having an easier time getting up when I hear Milo's door open.
3. Nora has started sleeping in. Some mornings, on school days, I end up waking her up a full hour after Milo's already up, and she is cranky. This seems pretty cruel, that I'm starting to get a sleeping-in kid but the other kid is decidedly a morning person. Who wants his breakfast pronto, thank you very much.
4. Wait. I don't have four things.
2. My new goal is to be in bed by 10:30 at night and turn out the light by 11. So that I can try to not feel so tired all the time. But wait. It's 10:55 now. Why am I so bad at going to bed? I just don't feel tired at the right times.
Also, night time is my only time to myself. It's hard to give that up. But maybe it'd be easier if I started having an easier time getting up when I hear Milo's door open.
3. Nora has started sleeping in. Some mornings, on school days, I end up waking her up a full hour after Milo's already up, and she is cranky. This seems pretty cruel, that I'm starting to get a sleeping-in kid but the other kid is decidedly a morning person. Who wants his breakfast pronto, thank you very much.
4. Wait. I don't have four things.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Snapshots of Today
This morning we spent the whole morning planting flowers and herbs. Here are my herbs all nice in a row in our cedar planter. How will they do? Only time will tell.
After the kids went to nap I made a summer pasta salad with cherry tomatoes, avocados, basil, lemon, garlic, capers, and green onions, but I forgot the green onions! So I strolled down to the neighborhood market to pick up some green onions. The grocer said "Hey, green onions" and then started singing "green onions" by Booker T. and the MG's. On the walk home I looked at all of the recall signs. Pretty much every other house looks like this:
After the kids went to nap I made a summer pasta salad with cherry tomatoes, avocados, basil, lemon, garlic, capers, and green onions, but I forgot the green onions! So I strolled down to the neighborhood market to pick up some green onions. The grocer said "Hey, green onions" and then started singing "green onions" by Booker T. and the MG's. On the walk home I looked at all of the recall signs. Pretty much every other house looks like this:
In the afternoon we went to a party downtown. Our friends have a condo right near the capitol and they have this awesome set up where they've got this huge terrace, bigger than our own patio, and then the terrace connects to this big grassy area and another set of gardens. It's like the best of both worlds, living right downtown in a modern condo and also having outdoor space right outside your back door.
Friday, May 11, 2012
I'm So Tired
Tonight just as I was literally exiting through the door to go out to dinner (of course) Milo fell off his chair and gashed his eyelid, causing a lot of bleeding all over the place. It's a small (1 cm) but deep cut. That kid is going to have so many scars by the time he gets to college.
The kids' classroom has a sister school in Liberia. They've been sending packages back and forth, pictures, notes, etc. between the two schools. There is currently a book drive to send a bunch of books to the Liberian school. Milo and Nora chose some books to donate.
Meanwhile, Nora has been gathering random pennies throughout the house and she now has a cup full of pennies. She wants to go to the book store with me and use her money to buy a book for the kids in Liberia. She's been pretty insistent on it, so I'll take her this weekend if we can squeeze it in. This is the first time that Nora has demonstrated any sense that money is something you use to buy things. Pretty awesome.
The kids' classroom has a sister school in Liberia. They've been sending packages back and forth, pictures, notes, etc. between the two schools. There is currently a book drive to send a bunch of books to the Liberian school. Milo and Nora chose some books to donate.
Meanwhile, Nora has been gathering random pennies throughout the house and she now has a cup full of pennies. She wants to go to the book store with me and use her money to buy a book for the kids in Liberia. She's been pretty insistent on it, so I'll take her this weekend if we can squeeze it in. This is the first time that Nora has demonstrated any sense that money is something you use to buy things. Pretty awesome.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
That Time Magazine Cover Everybody's Talking About
Boy howdy am I glad that my kids are older and I now get to rely on my brain, rather than my stupid messed up body, to parent. THANK GOD.
The kids are so awesome and entertaining now. Tonight I tossed Milo's face cloth at him as he was goofing around, and it smacked him in the face and then fell through his arms. Instead of being annoyed, he said, "Good job, you made a basket!"
Nora explained to me that she has something she is going to bring home tomorrow for me for Mother's Day. It's a flower! Maria has been helping her make it! She has absolutely no concept of keeping something a secret. Nora also motioned towards her pants pocket. She was wearing purple and white checked capris, with two zippered pockets. One was zipped closed. She said, "I have something in my pocket for you for Mother's Day too. But I have to keep it in my pocket until then. Well...you can peek. (Opens the pocket about half a centimeter). Okay, that's enough of a peek." I hope whatever is in that pocket wasn't alive.
The kids are so awesome and entertaining now. Tonight I tossed Milo's face cloth at him as he was goofing around, and it smacked him in the face and then fell through his arms. Instead of being annoyed, he said, "Good job, you made a basket!"
Nora explained to me that she has something she is going to bring home tomorrow for me for Mother's Day. It's a flower! Maria has been helping her make it! She has absolutely no concept of keeping something a secret. Nora also motioned towards her pants pocket. She was wearing purple and white checked capris, with two zippered pockets. One was zipped closed. She said, "I have something in my pocket for you for Mother's Day too. But I have to keep it in my pocket until then. Well...you can peek. (Opens the pocket about half a centimeter). Okay, that's enough of a peek." I hope whatever is in that pocket wasn't alive.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Lawn Mower Accident
One time, a long long long time ago, I was having dinner with a friend. We were out of town at the time, with a bunch of other friends as well, but this one night just this one friend and I were having dinner. Anyway, at that time, he had this big secret he wanted to tell me. And as he was hemming and hawing and delaying and giving little hints about this terrible secret, my mind started constructing these hypothetical scenarios about what the secret might be.
Meanwhile, tonight I was chatting with another friend and this friend asked if I ever hear from that other friend, the one with the secret. So I was sharing what I know (our lives pleasantly diverged long ago) and then I had this sudden memory. I suddenly remembered that this old friend had experienced a terrible accident, I think involving a lawn mower, in which a very delicate body part had been partially severed!
Isn't that awful? I thought to myself, "How could I have forgotten that?" I felt sad for a bit, remembering that terrible detail about this person.
But then I realized, oh wait a sec. Waaaait a sec. No. There was never any lawn mower accident. That was actually just one of the hypothetical scenarios I had constructed way back when, during the time when he was equivocating about telling me his terrible secret! I can remember where we were sitting in the restaurant at dinner, I remember him being very embarrassed about his secret, and I remember imagining what it could be, including that scenario. (Which is a really dumb thing to imagine. Who mows the lawn naked?) His actual secret was much more benign.
What is really creepy about this (aside from the fact that I had ever imagined such a bizarre scenario to begin with) is that I just barely caught myself in the false memory. Something about the illogic of it made me catch myself and remember what truly happened. But I'm sure there are other times when I don't catch myself. It's truly creepy to me, how our memories are constructed. We construct our memories, totally unreliably, and therefore we construct our past. And our reality. What is real? What is not? There is no way to know. Our sense that what we remember is what happened is totally an illusion.
I have another experience like this. It involves the last time a huge conference I attended was in San Francisco. This was in 2006. I have two memories of staying in a hotel in SF. In the first memory, I am staying in a very large, dark room. There is a table between the bed and the window. The bathroom is between the bedroom and the door. I sat at the table when I talked to my cousin on the phone, telling her a story about a horrible session I'd had in which the discussant had been a jackass.
Then there is a different hotel room I stayed in. It is extremely bright and white, and it is small. There was an armchair next to the bed. The bathroom was behind the bed. The layout of this room was completely different. The chair is where I sat when a friend visited me. My friend sat on the bed and showed me a sculpture he had made.
The problem is, there was only one trip, and only one hotel. And I know I stayed in that big, dark room, and I know I stayed in that small, white room. But I do know for a fact that I only stayed in one hotel on that trip. Which room is the real room? They are totally different rooms in my memory. I mean, nothing even close to the same. If my life depended on it, I could not tell you which room was the real room.
I am pretty sure that these incidents don't mean I'm crazy. I think they just mean I'm able to sometimes, very rarely, catch some grave errors in my mental images and my memories. What I suspect is that these errors are constant occurrences, but I have no way of noticing, or knowing.
Our intuition that we perceive and remember the world in any direct way is an illusion.
Meanwhile, tonight I was chatting with another friend and this friend asked if I ever hear from that other friend, the one with the secret. So I was sharing what I know (our lives pleasantly diverged long ago) and then I had this sudden memory. I suddenly remembered that this old friend had experienced a terrible accident, I think involving a lawn mower, in which a very delicate body part had been partially severed!
Isn't that awful? I thought to myself, "How could I have forgotten that?" I felt sad for a bit, remembering that terrible detail about this person.
But then I realized, oh wait a sec. Waaaait a sec. No. There was never any lawn mower accident. That was actually just one of the hypothetical scenarios I had constructed way back when, during the time when he was equivocating about telling me his terrible secret! I can remember where we were sitting in the restaurant at dinner, I remember him being very embarrassed about his secret, and I remember imagining what it could be, including that scenario. (Which is a really dumb thing to imagine. Who mows the lawn naked?) His actual secret was much more benign.
What is really creepy about this (aside from the fact that I had ever imagined such a bizarre scenario to begin with) is that I just barely caught myself in the false memory. Something about the illogic of it made me catch myself and remember what truly happened. But I'm sure there are other times when I don't catch myself. It's truly creepy to me, how our memories are constructed. We construct our memories, totally unreliably, and therefore we construct our past. And our reality. What is real? What is not? There is no way to know. Our sense that what we remember is what happened is totally an illusion.
I have another experience like this. It involves the last time a huge conference I attended was in San Francisco. This was in 2006. I have two memories of staying in a hotel in SF. In the first memory, I am staying in a very large, dark room. There is a table between the bed and the window. The bathroom is between the bedroom and the door. I sat at the table when I talked to my cousin on the phone, telling her a story about a horrible session I'd had in which the discussant had been a jackass.
Then there is a different hotel room I stayed in. It is extremely bright and white, and it is small. There was an armchair next to the bed. The bathroom was behind the bed. The layout of this room was completely different. The chair is where I sat when a friend visited me. My friend sat on the bed and showed me a sculpture he had made.
The problem is, there was only one trip, and only one hotel. And I know I stayed in that big, dark room, and I know I stayed in that small, white room. But I do know for a fact that I only stayed in one hotel on that trip. Which room is the real room? They are totally different rooms in my memory. I mean, nothing even close to the same. If my life depended on it, I could not tell you which room was the real room.
I am pretty sure that these incidents don't mean I'm crazy. I think they just mean I'm able to sometimes, very rarely, catch some grave errors in my mental images and my memories. What I suspect is that these errors are constant occurrences, but I have no way of noticing, or knowing.
Our intuition that we perceive and remember the world in any direct way is an illusion.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Three Petty Things and One Not
Petty Thing #1: Last night Nora asked me how much I weigh. Huh? I said I wasn't sure, since I haven't stepped on a scale in a very long time, and then I gave her an estimate. She said, "Well maybe you could try getting on the scale and then you can let me know." Uh...no? I'm pretty sure Nora has no idea what she weighs, so her sudden interest in what I weigh was pretty surprising.
Petty Thing #2: We have to go to this wedding. I don't want to go, but Jake wants to take the whole family so we're going. It's on a Friday afternoon, at like 3, in a town about 2 hours away. So that means taking the day off work. And having the kids miss their nap. So anyway, it's his cousin who is getting married and I've never met the bride. I've met the groom twice, I think. But recently I got an envelope in the mail (of course addressed to me with Jake's last name) inviting me to this woman's bridal shower. Just me, not Jake.
Okay, wait a sec. I have literally never met her. And she's like 35 and getting married for the second time. And I have never met her. And I'm supposed to go to a bridal shower for her? Are you freaking kidding me?
(Also, the wedding invitation itself included their registry info. Sorry, but...no. I'm no Emily Post, but come on.)
Petty Thing #3: Due to not-worth-getting-into details I am paying $160 to feed my department members lunch. In return for all of those other months when they feed me lunch, and by feed me lunch I mean bring in a tray of limp deli meats and call it a day. Um, can we abolish the communal lunch thing already? I'd rather keep my $160 and take care of my own lunch each month.
Non-Petty Thing: Last night Nora had reflux. And here I had thought, once again, that she had outgrown it. We've been cutting back on her meds. Anyway, I figured she needed to sit upright for a while so I said she could sit with me and watch Deep Space 9 with me and Jake. (It was a quirky episode. The episodes are either stressful or quirky, and this one was quirky, so I knew it wouldn't be scary.) She sat there on my lap for the whole time, and occasionally Nora would look at me with this huge, sweet smile on her face, because it was such a treat to stay up with Mom & Dad and look at the grown-up video they were watching. It totally reminded me of this one time that I took Nora to meet a friend at a coffee shop when she was about 6 months old. And the whole time, sitting on my lap, Nora would look up at me with these giant smiles. My friend said, "Boy does she love you!" And things haven't changed at all. Nora seems so grown up to me most of the time but sometimes I still see the baby in her.
Petty Thing #2: We have to go to this wedding. I don't want to go, but Jake wants to take the whole family so we're going. It's on a Friday afternoon, at like 3, in a town about 2 hours away. So that means taking the day off work. And having the kids miss their nap. So anyway, it's his cousin who is getting married and I've never met the bride. I've met the groom twice, I think. But recently I got an envelope in the mail (of course addressed to me with Jake's last name) inviting me to this woman's bridal shower. Just me, not Jake.
Okay, wait a sec. I have literally never met her. And she's like 35 and getting married for the second time. And I have never met her. And I'm supposed to go to a bridal shower for her? Are you freaking kidding me?
(Also, the wedding invitation itself included their registry info. Sorry, but...no. I'm no Emily Post, but come on.)
Petty Thing #3: Due to not-worth-getting-into details I am paying $160 to feed my department members lunch. In return for all of those other months when they feed me lunch, and by feed me lunch I mean bring in a tray of limp deli meats and call it a day. Um, can we abolish the communal lunch thing already? I'd rather keep my $160 and take care of my own lunch each month.
Non-Petty Thing: Last night Nora had reflux. And here I had thought, once again, that she had outgrown it. We've been cutting back on her meds. Anyway, I figured she needed to sit upright for a while so I said she could sit with me and watch Deep Space 9 with me and Jake. (It was a quirky episode. The episodes are either stressful or quirky, and this one was quirky, so I knew it wouldn't be scary.) She sat there on my lap for the whole time, and occasionally Nora would look at me with this huge, sweet smile on her face, because it was such a treat to stay up with Mom & Dad and look at the grown-up video they were watching. It totally reminded me of this one time that I took Nora to meet a friend at a coffee shop when she was about 6 months old. And the whole time, sitting on my lap, Nora would look up at me with these giant smiles. My friend said, "Boy does she love you!" And things haven't changed at all. Nora seems so grown up to me most of the time but sometimes I still see the baby in her.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Weekend Notes
Cloudy! Crummy weather! But enough non-rain times yesterday for me and Jake to put together some wood planters, do yard work, and prep our patio for summer.
Dinner: Milo at strawberries wrapped in spinach, cherry tomatoes, rice noodles, a wonton, and cheese. Nora ate...strawberries. And the teeniest tiniest bite of one rice noodle (approximately 0.5 mm thick). LE SIGH.
Jake and I ate homemade hot and sour soup with rice noodles, tomatoes, and spinach. Super awesome recipe. Yum.
But! I successfully made granola bars. I have been struggling with this for a long time because it is hard to get the consistency right. Sometimes it won't set up, and it's granola mush. Other times, it breaks apart and just becomes granola. But now I have succeeded in making actual bars, and the recipe I have is really delicious while still being decent for you (includes stuff like wheat germ, oats, dried cherries, and only has honey for a sweetener!). This is a big score for me because the kids love granola bars but I dislike feeding them what you can buy in the store. Even the healthy organic ones have about 30 ingredients.
Last weekend I went for a run in normal shoes and before the second mile was done my knees were dust. So frustrating. But this weekend I went for a run barefoot style and did 4.5 miles without trouble, so hooray! Part of it might have had to do with the fact that I was going up and down more hills, so it was giving me some relief from relentless flat foot pounding. But then again, this has become the kind of thing where there are about 80 different variables and I always attribute the latest change to whether my knees do well or poorly. It's totally non logical and superstitious and stuff.
More bad work stuff! Last year our chancellor, who has since departed for greener, private pastures, set up a private company to consult with some administrators to come up with a new HR design. They've now released their recommendations, one of them being no more cost of living raises. I mean, not that we've had any since 2006, but that's because there was no money rather than it not being built into the pay structure. Also, compensation would be determined by market analysis. Which means...what? (And how do you do that for everybody on campus, including janitors, secretaries, academic staff, medical personnel, food service workers, science professors, English professors, etc., etc., etc.?) So any raises would be determined by this non-defined market analysis, and by merit as determined by one's peers (which I'm sure would involve no favoritism whatsoever). In addition, these adjustments are supposed to enable a decrease in one's compensation as well as a possible increase. Also, the recommendations include eliminating the separate categories of classified vs. academic staff, which means classified staff (like secretaries and janitors) will lose a bunch of benefits that they've accrued separately due to collective bargaining action in the past.
How much will it take until faculty vote with their feet en masse? Things are really out of control!
Dinner: Milo at strawberries wrapped in spinach, cherry tomatoes, rice noodles, a wonton, and cheese. Nora ate...strawberries. And the teeniest tiniest bite of one rice noodle (approximately 0.5 mm thick). LE SIGH.
Jake and I ate homemade hot and sour soup with rice noodles, tomatoes, and spinach. Super awesome recipe. Yum.
But! I successfully made granola bars. I have been struggling with this for a long time because it is hard to get the consistency right. Sometimes it won't set up, and it's granola mush. Other times, it breaks apart and just becomes granola. But now I have succeeded in making actual bars, and the recipe I have is really delicious while still being decent for you (includes stuff like wheat germ, oats, dried cherries, and only has honey for a sweetener!). This is a big score for me because the kids love granola bars but I dislike feeding them what you can buy in the store. Even the healthy organic ones have about 30 ingredients.
Last weekend I went for a run in normal shoes and before the second mile was done my knees were dust. So frustrating. But this weekend I went for a run barefoot style and did 4.5 miles without trouble, so hooray! Part of it might have had to do with the fact that I was going up and down more hills, so it was giving me some relief from relentless flat foot pounding. But then again, this has become the kind of thing where there are about 80 different variables and I always attribute the latest change to whether my knees do well or poorly. It's totally non logical and superstitious and stuff.
More bad work stuff! Last year our chancellor, who has since departed for greener, private pastures, set up a private company to consult with some administrators to come up with a new HR design. They've now released their recommendations, one of them being no more cost of living raises. I mean, not that we've had any since 2006, but that's because there was no money rather than it not being built into the pay structure. Also, compensation would be determined by market analysis. Which means...what? (And how do you do that for everybody on campus, including janitors, secretaries, academic staff, medical personnel, food service workers, science professors, English professors, etc., etc., etc.?) So any raises would be determined by this non-defined market analysis, and by merit as determined by one's peers (which I'm sure would involve no favoritism whatsoever). In addition, these adjustments are supposed to enable a decrease in one's compensation as well as a possible increase. Also, the recommendations include eliminating the separate categories of classified vs. academic staff, which means classified staff (like secretaries and janitors) will lose a bunch of benefits that they've accrued separately due to collective bargaining action in the past.
How much will it take until faculty vote with their feet en masse? Things are really out of control!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Adventurous and Picky
When Milo came downstairs after his nap, I asked if he was ready for a snack. He said, "Yes. I'd like a bunch of spinach with a strawberry on top, please."
??? Where did this kid come from? I didn't happen to have either spinach or strawberries. I offered him some arugula but he wasn't interested. Instead, Milo ate about 3/4 of a red bell pepper. As he ate it, he said, "How are these so good?"
Lest this is too annoying to read about, I have the other child. Things she used to eat have now switched camps into the "cannot be eaten" category. This includes french toast, sausage, and applesauce. Seriously, applesauce? What has applesauce ever done to you, Nora? So now Nora will basically eat pancakes, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, and fruit. I exaggerate, but not by much.
??? Where did this kid come from? I didn't happen to have either spinach or strawberries. I offered him some arugula but he wasn't interested. Instead, Milo ate about 3/4 of a red bell pepper. As he ate it, he said, "How are these so good?"
Lest this is too annoying to read about, I have the other child. Things she used to eat have now switched camps into the "cannot be eaten" category. This includes french toast, sausage, and applesauce. Seriously, applesauce? What has applesauce ever done to you, Nora? So now Nora will basically eat pancakes, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, and fruit. I exaggerate, but not by much.
Land of Milk and Honey
1. Last night I was walking home from the gym and marveling at how fabulous everything is when the weather warms up. It was after 6 when I left and now I can walk home on the bike path again, instead of through the neighborhood streets, because it's still plenty light out. It was warm. I could smell the lingering scent of lilacs. Everything is blooming. The birds are loud. Everything about our little spot on the planet is just completely pleasant right now.
I know I wouldn't be enjoying it this much if I weren't contrasting it with other walks home from the gym, walks that happen in the pitch black, boots crunching on snow, hood pulled over my head, gloves on. But, is it worth it? I mean, yes, the sweetness of the warm months is all the more sweet thanks to winter, but I suspect that at this point in my life I could definitely enjoy this kind of weather year round.
2. In my continued "don't be a slob" life campaign, I'm tackling one new cleaning / organizing project a week on top of the normal maintenance stuff. Today it was the hall linen closet. Now our towels, sheets, and blankets are all organized, take that, closet! I subsequently discovered about 200 little packets of alcohol wipes and about a hundred packets of gauze. I think our alcohol wipe / gauze needs are fulfilled at least until the kids go to college.
3. This is a sign of how bad things are with my brain: I have started a "where things are" file on my computer. Every time I put something somewhere special or weird, I add it to the file. So maybe in 6 months when I can't figure out what happened to my white gloves or the Halloween decorations, I'll be able to find it thanks to the file.
4. This morning we went to the children's museum and spent 45 minutes building a giant house out of giant building materials. The kids could stand up in it. I figured out how to make a window and a door. It was definitely super fun.
5. I have an angry screed to share, but I'll save it for later since the great weather and organizing projects are making me so content. Somebody once said something about how I'm always angry, or something like that, based on this blog. Hopefully that isn't how everybody sees me, but I think my writing can skew that way at times because I use the space to work out issues or to communicate more passionately than I would actually feel allowed to do in real life. Mostly I go around pretty happy.
6. When the firefighters ask for donations I always give. I think I'll be doing this for life after what they did for all of the other state workers last year.
7. We launched rockets and played in the sand today. Welcome back, spring!
I know I wouldn't be enjoying it this much if I weren't contrasting it with other walks home from the gym, walks that happen in the pitch black, boots crunching on snow, hood pulled over my head, gloves on. But, is it worth it? I mean, yes, the sweetness of the warm months is all the more sweet thanks to winter, but I suspect that at this point in my life I could definitely enjoy this kind of weather year round.
2. In my continued "don't be a slob" life campaign, I'm tackling one new cleaning / organizing project a week on top of the normal maintenance stuff. Today it was the hall linen closet. Now our towels, sheets, and blankets are all organized, take that, closet! I subsequently discovered about 200 little packets of alcohol wipes and about a hundred packets of gauze. I think our alcohol wipe / gauze needs are fulfilled at least until the kids go to college.
3. This is a sign of how bad things are with my brain: I have started a "where things are" file on my computer. Every time I put something somewhere special or weird, I add it to the file. So maybe in 6 months when I can't figure out what happened to my white gloves or the Halloween decorations, I'll be able to find it thanks to the file.
4. This morning we went to the children's museum and spent 45 minutes building a giant house out of giant building materials. The kids could stand up in it. I figured out how to make a window and a door. It was definitely super fun.
5. I have an angry screed to share, but I'll save it for later since the great weather and organizing projects are making me so content. Somebody once said something about how I'm always angry, or something like that, based on this blog. Hopefully that isn't how everybody sees me, but I think my writing can skew that way at times because I use the space to work out issues or to communicate more passionately than I would actually feel allowed to do in real life. Mostly I go around pretty happy.
6. When the firefighters ask for donations I always give. I think I'll be doing this for life after what they did for all of the other state workers last year.
7. We launched rockets and played in the sand today. Welcome back, spring!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Transitive Property
Logic begins to develop:
Kids: Are trees taller than people?
Me: Yes, usually.
Milo: And skyscrapers are taller than trees. Are skyscrapers taller than trees?
Me: For the most part, yes, skyscrapers are taller than trees.
Nora: So that means skyscrapers are taller than people!
Kids: Are trees taller than people?
Me: Yes, usually.
Milo: And skyscrapers are taller than trees. Are skyscrapers taller than trees?
Me: For the most part, yes, skyscrapers are taller than trees.
Nora: So that means skyscrapers are taller than people!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Odds and Ends
This afternoon we went on a family bike ride on the bike path in the 40 degree weather. 40 degrees! Brrrr! It was cloudy and had rained all morning, so the bright side is that there weren't many people on the bike path to potentially run into the kids, who are still learning the concept of the right lane. They went on their balance bikes and Jake walked and I practiced the art of riding my bike so slowly that I was almost standing still. The kids aren't in love with their balance bikes, and keep asking us for bikes with pedals. I want to get a couple of tagalongs so we can go on real bike rides together as a family.
Tonight at dinner:
Me: Look behind you Milo, there's a chipmunk on the deck!
Milo: Look, it's trying to eat that little shovel. Stupid chipmunk! I like to call it a "shitmunk".
No. That's not really an appropriate thing to call a chipmunk...
Milo has a giant goose egg on his temple, and a cut in the center of it. It looks pretty bad. When I was out of town, a classmate of his bashed him on the head with a rock. Actually, Milo clarified that it was maybe an old piece of cement. Anyway, his friend bashed him on the side of the head with a rock or a piece of cement. The school was very solicitous of Jake. I think they were worried about how Jake would handle it. The kid who did it is actually one of Milo's best friends and it's not clear to me whether this was a game gone wrong or not. I think it's more a sign that their after-school teachers aren't as good as their normal school-day teachers at closely monitoring them and distracting the kids when things get a little too riled up.
I have to say, in absence of a really serious injury requiring a doctor, that I'm much more comfortable with my kids being the bashee than the basher. It stinks to get bashed with a rock, but I'd probably feel a lot worse if my kids were going around bashing other people with rocks.
Nora actually ate a piece of chicken tonight! And liked it! That's because it was breaded, basically the fancy version of a chicken nugget. Still. Little steps. Meanwhile Milo was happily eating his chicken, his black bean chili, and his raw strips of red pepper, one of his favorite snacks.
Speaking of meat, did you know there's a place in Philly that makes vegan cheesesteaks? It didn't taste like a cheesesteak, but whatever they used for the "cheese" tasted amazingly like cheese. It was actually pretty darn good, as long as you didn't expect it to be a cheesesteak. It's been 3 months without meat now for us, and it's fine except occasionally a little inconvenient at restaurants.
Tonight at dinner:
Me: Look behind you Milo, there's a chipmunk on the deck!
Milo: Look, it's trying to eat that little shovel. Stupid chipmunk! I like to call it a "shitmunk".
No. That's not really an appropriate thing to call a chipmunk...
Milo has a giant goose egg on his temple, and a cut in the center of it. It looks pretty bad. When I was out of town, a classmate of his bashed him on the head with a rock. Actually, Milo clarified that it was maybe an old piece of cement. Anyway, his friend bashed him on the side of the head with a rock or a piece of cement. The school was very solicitous of Jake. I think they were worried about how Jake would handle it. The kid who did it is actually one of Milo's best friends and it's not clear to me whether this was a game gone wrong or not. I think it's more a sign that their after-school teachers aren't as good as their normal school-day teachers at closely monitoring them and distracting the kids when things get a little too riled up.
I have to say, in absence of a really serious injury requiring a doctor, that I'm much more comfortable with my kids being the bashee than the basher. It stinks to get bashed with a rock, but I'd probably feel a lot worse if my kids were going around bashing other people with rocks.
Nora actually ate a piece of chicken tonight! And liked it! That's because it was breaded, basically the fancy version of a chicken nugget. Still. Little steps. Meanwhile Milo was happily eating his chicken, his black bean chili, and his raw strips of red pepper, one of his favorite snacks.
Speaking of meat, did you know there's a place in Philly that makes vegan cheesesteaks? It didn't taste like a cheesesteak, but whatever they used for the "cheese" tasted amazingly like cheese. It was actually pretty darn good, as long as you didn't expect it to be a cheesesteak. It's been 3 months without meat now for us, and it's fine except occasionally a little inconvenient at restaurants.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Conference
So why do I do things like stay up until 2 a.m. when I know I have to get up at 6:30? Ugh...
I have had a super packed conference and it's been really fun and stimulating, like conferences are supposed to be - it's got me energized for returning to certain intellectual endeavors. I was also pulled in a lot of directions because in addition to trying to fit in seeing friends and meeting up with colleagues to talk about work and attend sessions I also had a number of non-field people to see: a friend who lives in Philly, my sister, my Dad, my cousin and his family, and a bunch of my Dad's old friends. Which was fun, for the most part (other than the old family friend who kept trying to badger me into a political conversation that I didn't want to have -- if you're a millionaire from a lifetime of private business enterprises don't try to mask your conservative agenda to enact top-down accountability measures onto teachers through some faux "concern" about their work opportunities when really, you just hate the idea of unions. I was rolling my eyes so hard I thought they'd lodge in the back of my head). But other than that, fun if hectic.
Two sweet things. One was this other old friend who knew my mom when she was expecting me and knew me as a baby. He really wanted to try to explain that I mattered to them and was a big part of their lives. That touched me. It is cool to have an alternate perspective from the one I'm more accustomed to having.
The other is something I observed in a talk. I was sitting behind Very Famous Guy who is one of my idols (and who I turned down a job with last year, which is still a little hard/awkward), and he was sitting next to Extremely Famous Guy, who was his advisor waaaaaaaaaaay back in the day. And during the talk, the speaker referred to VFG as somebody whose ideas informed his thinking and sparked what became the research project he was reporting on. And then I saw VFG's old advisor, EFG, write a note on the back of his program book to VFG. EFG wrote, "You did a good job!" I don't know. I just thought it was so cool that VFG, who is super senior and established and stuff, still get that kind of affirmation from his advisor.
I have had a super packed conference and it's been really fun and stimulating, like conferences are supposed to be - it's got me energized for returning to certain intellectual endeavors. I was also pulled in a lot of directions because in addition to trying to fit in seeing friends and meeting up with colleagues to talk about work and attend sessions I also had a number of non-field people to see: a friend who lives in Philly, my sister, my Dad, my cousin and his family, and a bunch of my Dad's old friends. Which was fun, for the most part (other than the old family friend who kept trying to badger me into a political conversation that I didn't want to have -- if you're a millionaire from a lifetime of private business enterprises don't try to mask your conservative agenda to enact top-down accountability measures onto teachers through some faux "concern" about their work opportunities when really, you just hate the idea of unions. I was rolling my eyes so hard I thought they'd lodge in the back of my head). But other than that, fun if hectic.
Two sweet things. One was this other old friend who knew my mom when she was expecting me and knew me as a baby. He really wanted to try to explain that I mattered to them and was a big part of their lives. That touched me. It is cool to have an alternate perspective from the one I'm more accustomed to having.
The other is something I observed in a talk. I was sitting behind Very Famous Guy who is one of my idols (and who I turned down a job with last year, which is still a little hard/awkward), and he was sitting next to Extremely Famous Guy, who was his advisor waaaaaaaaaaay back in the day. And during the talk, the speaker referred to VFG as somebody whose ideas informed his thinking and sparked what became the research project he was reporting on. And then I saw VFG's old advisor, EFG, write a note on the back of his program book to VFG. EFG wrote, "You did a good job!" I don't know. I just thought it was so cool that VFG, who is super senior and established and stuff, still get that kind of affirmation from his advisor.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
It's Fixed Now
Wow, I just had a giant tantrum over my iPhone screwing up. I updated it to iOS 5.1, which was a huge mistake. First because it took 3 hours to download and update, so that was really really annoying, and second because then it caused my phone to think it had no SIM card. So the update basically broke my phone. Then, when I followed the online advice to restore the phone to factory settings, that just made it even worse because it wouldn't restore properly due to thinking it had no SIM card. So I no longer even had my home screen or anything, I just had a phone with no data on it and a repeating error message that it couldn't complete the restore because it had no SIM card. And I was freaking out because I need to get on a plane tomorrow and somehow, the idea of traveling without my phone is absolutely fucking unthinkable, despite the fact that I did it regularly, like, a year ago.
So I called the Apple help line and had to talk to the automated computer guy, who really wasn't helping at all because after I'd given him my name and the type of phone I have, he wanted my phone's serial number. And for this to make sense you need to know that I was already in a state of being really, really mad by the time I called the help line.
Automated computer guy: What is your phone's serial number?
Me: Uh, I don't know! God!
Automated computer guy: You can say, "I don't have one", or "Tell me how to find it."
Me: Tell me how to find it.
Automated computer guy: You can say, "Find it on my home screen" or "Find it in iTunes."
Me: Uh...(home screen won't work, I don't have a home screen anymore)...find it in iTunes.
Automated compter guy: At any time you can say, "repeat", or "continue". Open itunes.
Me: ...
Automated computer guy: ...
Me: Continue.
Automated computer guy: Look on the sidebar under devices. Click on your iPhone device.
Me: Continue.
Automated computer guy: At the top of the device screen --
Me: No. That's not going to work. My device screen just has an error message because my phone thinks it has no SIM card.
Automated computer guy: I didn't catch that. Please state your request again.
Me: That's not going to work. I CAN'T GET MY SERIAL NUMBER.
Automated computer guy: I didn't catch that. Please state your request again.
Me: SERIOUSLY OMG DON'T MAKE ME GIVE YOU MY SERIAL NUMBER JUST TO TALK TO A REAL PERSON. GIVE ME A REAL PERSON GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. GOD DAMN IT! FUCK!
Automated computer guy: I --
Me: OH NO YOU DON'T JUST GIVE ME A GOD DAMN HELP PERSON! AAAAUGGGHHHHHHHH!
Automated computer guy: I am transferring you to our next available agent.
And then while the help music was playing I took an old plastic drumstick of the kids that belongs to a now-gone drum, one I've been meaning to throw out, and I took that thing and bent it over my knee so I could snap that motherfucker in half. Except it was fucking plastic, so it didn't snap at all. It just bent. So then I had an L-shaped plastic drumstick, which is way less satisfying than snapping it in half, so I threw it down the stairs. Because that's the mature way to handle things.
Seriously, when it comes to phone problems, computer glitches, and help lines, I can really lose my shit.
So I called the Apple help line and had to talk to the automated computer guy, who really wasn't helping at all because after I'd given him my name and the type of phone I have, he wanted my phone's serial number. And for this to make sense you need to know that I was already in a state of being really, really mad by the time I called the help line.
Automated computer guy: What is your phone's serial number?
Me: Uh, I don't know! God!
Automated computer guy: You can say, "I don't have one", or "Tell me how to find it."
Me: Tell me how to find it.
Automated computer guy: You can say, "Find it on my home screen" or "Find it in iTunes."
Me: Uh...(home screen won't work, I don't have a home screen anymore)...find it in iTunes.
Automated compter guy: At any time you can say, "repeat", or "continue". Open itunes.
Me: ...
Automated computer guy: ...
Me: Continue.
Automated computer guy: Look on the sidebar under devices. Click on your iPhone device.
Me: Continue.
Automated computer guy: At the top of the device screen --
Me: No. That's not going to work. My device screen just has an error message because my phone thinks it has no SIM card.
Automated computer guy: I didn't catch that. Please state your request again.
Me: That's not going to work. I CAN'T GET MY SERIAL NUMBER.
Automated computer guy: I didn't catch that. Please state your request again.
Me: SERIOUSLY OMG DON'T MAKE ME GIVE YOU MY SERIAL NUMBER JUST TO TALK TO A REAL PERSON. GIVE ME A REAL PERSON GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. GOD DAMN IT! FUCK!
Automated computer guy: I --
Me: OH NO YOU DON'T JUST GIVE ME A GOD DAMN HELP PERSON! AAAAUGGGHHHHHHHH!
Automated computer guy: I am transferring you to our next available agent.
And then while the help music was playing I took an old plastic drumstick of the kids that belongs to a now-gone drum, one I've been meaning to throw out, and I took that thing and bent it over my knee so I could snap that motherfucker in half. Except it was fucking plastic, so it didn't snap at all. It just bent. So then I had an L-shaped plastic drumstick, which is way less satisfying than snapping it in half, so I threw it down the stairs. Because that's the mature way to handle things.
Seriously, when it comes to phone problems, computer glitches, and help lines, I can really lose my shit.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Alles Neu
The whole family is obsessed with this song by Peter Fox and the Cold Steel Drumline (it's worth watching all the way through to the end to see some shots of the drumline):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD0A2plMSVA
Last night the kids made me play it about 16 times in a row. Tonight Milo wanted to do the same thing, but we cut him off after about 5. Then he wanted to watch the video over and over again.
But Milo isn't the only one. I love all of the contrasts in this song. To my ear, German is a challenging-to-hear language (sorry, German speakers). It sounds harsh and guttural, bordering on but not quite reaching ugly. It is a very masculine language. So here is this guy singing in an aggressive way in this masculine, staccato language, but his voice and tone are melodic. This mirrors the contrast I hear between the heart-thumping drum beat and the strings, both which provide an ongoing wall of sound behind the lyrics. It's just the sexiest song.
It's like the song itself is a juxtaposition of flowing and hair-raising. This song reminds me of Jake, who double-majored in German and spent a year in Austria as an exchange student. But it's not Jake as a German speaker that I think of, it's Jake the person, who is also a study in contrasts. Jake's voice, angularity, jaw line, and movements through space are so strongly masculine, but his slight frame, gentle tones, and mild-mannered nature are not. It is these inherent contrasts that continue to fascinate me about Jake, and watching him walk, sit, and move is like watching a perfectly orchestrated dance. I guess I mean to say that the way this song fascinates me is a minor reflection of the way that Jake fascinates me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD0A2plMSVA
Last night the kids made me play it about 16 times in a row. Tonight Milo wanted to do the same thing, but we cut him off after about 5. Then he wanted to watch the video over and over again.
But Milo isn't the only one. I love all of the contrasts in this song. To my ear, German is a challenging-to-hear language (sorry, German speakers). It sounds harsh and guttural, bordering on but not quite reaching ugly. It is a very masculine language. So here is this guy singing in an aggressive way in this masculine, staccato language, but his voice and tone are melodic. This mirrors the contrast I hear between the heart-thumping drum beat and the strings, both which provide an ongoing wall of sound behind the lyrics. It's just the sexiest song.
It's like the song itself is a juxtaposition of flowing and hair-raising. This song reminds me of Jake, who double-majored in German and spent a year in Austria as an exchange student. But it's not Jake as a German speaker that I think of, it's Jake the person, who is also a study in contrasts. Jake's voice, angularity, jaw line, and movements through space are so strongly masculine, but his slight frame, gentle tones, and mild-mannered nature are not. It is these inherent contrasts that continue to fascinate me about Jake, and watching him walk, sit, and move is like watching a perfectly orchestrated dance. I guess I mean to say that the way this song fascinates me is a minor reflection of the way that Jake fascinates me.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Nora's Photo Story
Nora took some photos one day when I was out of the house. Based on her series, my guess is that she watched Milo goofing around on the stairs, and then some sort of accident occurred, culminating in Milo needing some comfort.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Guilt is this traveling mom's drink of choice
Here's a story about moms who have to travel for work.
It's pretty relevant to my life right now because next week I'll be out of town and tonight the twin whisperer kinda screwed us over. Ages ago we'd arranged for her to watch the kids on Wednesday next week when I'm out of town, but she's taken a better gig for next week which leaves Jake in the lurch. He'll have to take a vacation day to watch the kids. And I feel bad for Jake because I know this is going to be exhausting. He'll have to take the kids to school (and getting them fed, dressed, and out the door each morning is a major hassle), he'll have to pick them up every afternoon, he'll have to take a day off to watch them on Wednesday, and he'll have to basically do everything by himself for 4 days which I know is going to be tiring. Poor guy!
When the kids were first born I turned down all travel requests. I traveled the first time when they were 10.5 months old. For the first few years I accepted about half of the travel requests I got. Last year, I tried to accept most of them, as I was gearing up for tenure and trying to be visible and stuff like that. Not that it mattered in the end. (My letter writers didn't care if I'd gone to whatever conference, or given some invited talk or whatnot). I probably accept about 2/3 of my travel opportunities now.
I enjoy traveling for work and would do more if I didn't have a family. There are two big conferences in our field that usually happen about a week apart and I used to always go to both. Now I never go to both. I do miss it, especially when everybody else in the world is posting about how awesome it is.
I feel guilty when I travel. I think the kids are largely fine at this point, but I know it burdens Jake. It is hard to deal with them both alone for several days. Lots of times my parents or his parents will help out when I'm gone. But sometimes, like for next week's trip, Jake is on his own and I know how much work it'll be.
Also, I miss them when I'm gone.
It's kind of an interesting set of choices that I'm reflecting on now that I have these choices to make. I choose to work less than I could or naturally want to. When I am engrossed in something I would prefer to stay at the office and stay engrossed in it. But I stop it and go home. I would love to travel to some of the international conferences to work with some researchers who I've been reading for years. But that's too long to be gone. So basically I'm making a deliberate set of decisions to be less influential in my career and less well known so that I can spend more time with my family.
I mostly feel okay about this. The times when I feel weird are when I observe my colleagues making different choices and it makes me second-guess myself. I have other colleagues with preschool-aged kids who work around the clock and travel all the time. I mean, like, 3 times as much as I do. So then I worry about how I'm deliberately relegating myself to being kind of podunk and small time, because I'm unwilling to put in the hours and the miles to make it big.
I think the key is to just try to be purposely okay with that. I mean, this is a choice. I could be choosing the other way, and I'm not. I like being around my family. I want to keep Jake happy. I want to be a big part of M&N's lives. I didn't go ahead and have kids so I could work around the clock, right? And the bigger issue is that I'm just not that important. I mean, I have a colleague who commutes between here and DC, so she sees her kids only on weekends, but frankly, she's, like, way way more important than I'll ever be. Her decision makes sense for her life because what she's doing really matters. What I'm doing is not in that league.
This is all pretty gendered, of course. Lots of men don't worry much when they travel. They know their wives will take care of things. They don't think of turning down opportunities. I do, and I constantly think about what's fair to Jake and how much he can handle. But, it is pretty encouraging to see signs of change, too. There's a former student of ours who is now a professor and we skype each week to collaborate on a project. Last week I asked him if he was going to the upcoming conference, and he said, "No, I'd like to stay married." They have a new baby. It's cool to see men taking on more responsibility at home like that, and it'll make things more even at work, too.
Once upon a time Milo and Nora would cry and cry every time I left the house. Now, thank God, they give a cheerful wave and chirp, "Goodbye!" and everything is just fine. So I know they'll be okay, but man, I feel for Jake.
Milo
Milo did well with his tubes procedure. It was really fast (like 10 minutes). When he woke up, he felt sick from the anesthesia, so that was a bit rough but an hour later he was mostly back to normal.
Milo was so stoic at the hospital. He'd barely talk to anybody, and he had a strange frown on his face, but that was the extent to which Milo would reveal his discomfort. Then a few hours later at lunch, I could barely shut him up.
This morning I took the kids to the library to pick out a new crop of books, and then we walked next door to the coffee shop for our morning snack. It was quite a special treat. It's pretty cool that now I can take the kids to the coffee shop, by myself, and they can both sit in normal chairs and eat a snack, and remark on the artwork in the coffee shop, and it's all generally pleasant rather than stressful. My conclusion: babies and toddlers are hard, especially in pairs. But once they get to be actual kids, they rock.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Outpatient
Milo has to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 6:15 a.m. for a 7:15 a.m. tubes surgery. Why so early, ugh. Worse, it interferes with taking Nora to school so one of us has to stay and take Nora to school, and the other can be with Milo. I was so sure Milo would want Jake with him, but no. He wants me. Must be because of the 6:15 a.m. thing. He knows what a great morning person I am.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
April Sunday
Thunderstorms. Why do they happen at night 90% of the time? You know what happens when there's thunder at night? We end up with two kids in our bed and a certain mother gets no sleep.
This evening Nora decided that she wanted to write a card to Grandmom Lee & Papa Greg. We got a card out for her and she carefully wrote her name in it. Then she dictated to me precisely the things she wanted me to write down in the card on her behalf. We'll send it off tomorrow.
It always makes me wary when Jake declares, "I think I'll use the drill." But today he finally fixed our non-latching door, so I'm happy about the outcome.
Milo brought home the mystery box from school. He gets to choose something to put into it, and then share 3 clues with the other kids who try to guess what is in the box. His clues are:
1) We use these to work outside in the dirt.
2) We need two of them.
3) They keep our hands clean.
There are 12 chicks in the kids' room at school. A week ago, there were 12 eggs. Now there are 12 chicks. Sometimes it boggles my mind that school starts off with chicks and finger painting and somehow ends up a decade later with tediously dull worksheets.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Slugger
Here's Milo at the plate! It's so cute how he takes off running whenever he gets a hit, and doesn't exactly know where to go.
Milo spent all morning playing baseball and soccer. I realized we should, like, find some baseball games on you tube so he can see what they actually look like. Then this afternoon Milo and Jake went back out to the park to hit some more balls, and the neighborhood kid and his friend joined in. These kids were 7 and 8, and they were so nice to Milo. It was so cute. They were totally patient with him, letting him bat and pitch and Milo did an amazing job. Even though he's half their age he had just as many hits as they did. Then he'd just take off like a shot towards the outfield, since he doesn't really get the concept of going to 1st base. It was also so cute to watch Milo playing with these bigger kids, using a lower voice with them, trying to fit in.
I have a feeling that if we can all get together this summer, Milo is going to have a blast playing ball with his cousins!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Highs and Lows
What a week! It started with my chair reprimanding me on behalf of the dean for carrying out a plan that my own faculty suggested that I do in a faculty meeting. The dean disapproved of the recommended action and because she is too important to talk to me directly, she instead called my chair and told him to have a talk with me to convey her disapproval. The whole situation is a long and messy story but I have learned some important management lessons here about how not to behave when in a position of power. Not that I'll ever likely be a chair or a dean, but I can still make use of these lessons in terms of the people I do direct who work on my projects (grad students, post docs, secretaries).
And then at the end of the week, I found a vase of fresh flowers on my desk, courtesy of one of my grad students. I haven't really done anything to merit something like that from her, but she said "think of it as the world (and me, as a complicated grad student), saying 'thanks for being you'." OMG. How sweet is that? I almost feel guilty because I don't want any grad students on our paltry stipends ever spending any money on me! It should be the other way around, as often as possible.
Anyway, this has been an interesting contrast in the things that are bad and good about my job. The bad stuff (budget problems, departmental politics, bad management practices on behalf of my dean and chair) is mostly stuff that doesn't directly intersect with my day-to-day life. The good stuff? The faculty with whom I directly work in my area and on my cross-disciplinary grants. They're all great people. The students. All of our grad students - I like every one of them and I love our Friday seminar discussions together. The students on my projects are really outstanding. The post docs on my projects are also super awesome. Basically, the people I directly interact with on a daily basis are all wonderful colleagues; smart, dedicated, thoughtful, open minded. It's good to step back and be grateful for those things that matter a lot.
Tonight I sat down with the kids and wrote down words for them to try to read: Bat, Dog, Fun, Nod, Sit, etc. And Nora was able to sound out each and every one and figure out what they were. It's like something has just started to click with her. It's amazing to watch. Reading has been such an incredible pleasure and joy throughout my life that I'm excited to see it beginning for her. Milo isn't there at all at this point. He's in a different place, focusing on different skills right now, which is just fine. Over spring break he practiced learning his head stand and now he can hold a bona fide head stand for 30 seconds.
On Tuesday Milo is getting tubes put into his ears. The hope is that this will solve his hearing problem.
Now of course the thing I'd really like them to learn is to how to co-exist for more than 5 minutes without bickering...
Thursday, April 12, 2012
War on Women
Hilary Rosen got in a mess of hot water when she said about Ann Romney "His wife has actually never worked a day in her life." Now Romney and his wife are looking sympathetic, because she can defend her choice to stay home and raise her kids, a choice that tons of families really relate to.
The issue, though, is that her wealth gave her that choice. That's how Hilary Rosen should have framed it. Romney was using his wife to show that he knows about the economic situations of women. When in reality, they are an uber-wealthy family who has never, ever had to face the kinds of situations that middle class and working class families grapple with every day. The thing is, Ann Romney had a choice. And that's great, making a choice that was probably a good one for their family, and can be great for many families. The point is, though, that many American women do not have that choice. They must raise their children and work for pay, or else their kids won't eat.
I want our national conversation to focus on what we can do for people who don't get to choose.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
It has been a super rough time at work, like, wake up at 4 and never go back to sleep type of rough. So I'm thinking a little bit about ways to focus on more positive things in life and let go of stuff, like work, that ultimately doesn't matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. Things like:
- Bike riding! I hope I'll continue to enjoy that as summer approaches. One thing that's pleasant about riding around here is that it is easy to get out of the city quickly and then ride on dedicated bike paths through beautiful countryside. I like being on a separate path rather than on the road.
- Gardening! I've found that there's nothing more enjoyable and conducive to flow than activities that use your hands and your body as well as your mind. It's always satisfying to get pots ready for summer, to plant, to weed, and otherwise take care of our little plot of land in the city.
- Home improvement! Sadly I'm not the fix-the-plumbing / put-up-tile kind of person, although I'd like to be some day and learn those skills, but I do get a lot of satisfaction out of the little things I can do to maintain our surroundings through my own work. This spring I need to paint the trim in our bedroom, and I've got a fence to stain. The time just flies by when I'm engaged in those types of projects.
- Cooking! Always a good activity, and it's something I seldom tire of. I'm looking forward to fresh vegetable season. I wonder how many vegan meals I can make this summer?
- Outings with the kids! Now that the weather is nicer and we don't have to put on 18 layers of stuff to leave the house, it feels like less of a production to get out. I'm looking forward to more trips to the zoo, the children's museum, the library, the capitol, and this summer let's not forget the pool and the splash park. A good lesson for me on our morning outings is to slow down and enjoy the experience at their pace, not mine.
It's great to think that in just a month, the semester will be over.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Sausage
I have a troll on G+! What a drag.
Milo kept opening his mouth to reveal the disgusting half-chewed sausage he was eating, basically to annoy Nora. So she ran around complaining, "Milo keeps showing me his sausage! Milo's showing me his sausage!"
Nora is sick and last night at the end of dinner she coughed so hard that she threw up. Milo was so disgusted at the sight that he immediately threw up as well.
Next up: I think I'll write a defense of the 40-hour (or less) work week. I think it's inaccurate one-up-manship when people brag about working 60 or 80 hours a week. I mean, yes, some people do that. But it doesn't appear to be a good idea for anybody, not even for job productivity, and something is really wrong if you're bragging about voluntarily working 80 hours a week and never seeing your family. Is that really something we want to promote and foster?
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Time and Flexibility
Things are getting a little weird blogging wise because I'm shifting over a fair amount of what I say, at least professionally, to G+. Most of it's limited to my circles but I'm starting to share some things publicly here and there. Here's a draft of something I'm going to put on Google+ soon.
Recently a colleague of mine wrote a post on Facebook expressing some exasperation with the fact that her department was nearly empty at 4:15 on a weekday. This led to a fairly long series of comments, and I decided to write about it in a more extended manner here rather than clutter up her wall with my opinions.
So, the exasperation was born of the belief that appearances matter, that public perception is important, and that there is a need for expensive university building to look open on weekdays. My colleague remarked "being present more often on campus is likely a coming requirement if we want more compensation."
Now that I have tenure I'm going to go ahead and be honest and open about my working hours and my beliefs about how much we professors are working and should be working.
The exasperation was perhaps born of a belief that the university building should be filled with professors in their offices during the normal working hours of 9 to 5, or something like that. This colleague is not in my own department. But in my department, things do look somewhat different. For instance:
-- Many of us are in our offices up until 7, 8, and 9 p.m. because we teach afternoon and evening courses that working graduate students can take after their normal work day is completed.
-- Many of us are in our offices on the weekend. I go in every Sunday, which I will talk about more in a moment, but the place isn't deserted on those Sundays. I have one colleague who I hear walking down the hall to and from her office each Sunday. I have another colleague in my own area who is often in our shared suite on Sunday.
-- Many of us are also in our offices before the typical work day starts. The head of my area is often in the office before 8. He comes in after he drops his son off from school, and on certain days he leaves early (around 2:30) to pick his son up from school.
-- Many of my departmental colleagues are not in the offices much because they are off giving talks, keynotes, and plenaries, going to conferences, serving on review panels and advisory panel meetings, receiving honorary doctorates, and otherwise engaging in very public forms of scholarship around the country and the world. This does not appear to have harmed our department's reputation. In fact, it seems to have helped it.
I feel lucky that my department has always been supportive of the work we do, caring much more about our productivity rather than the appearance of productivity, or face time. We have a huge amount of autonomy in terms of when and where we work. All of us work long hours. I don't personally happen to know anybody in my department who works fewer than 40 hours a week. But many of those hours do not necessarily occur in our offices. They occur in the classroom, in the field when we're collecting data, on the airplane, and, yes, at our homes. Sometimes at 10 p.m., or midnight, or 5 a.m.
I am facebook friends with some of my departmental colleagues who have tenure, who voted on my own tenure case. If one of them had posted something in exasperation about not seeing more faculty in the office at 4:15 p.m. on a Wednesday, that would have had a chilling effect on me pre-tenure. It would have scared me, and made me worry that I need to be showing up at the office more, regardless of how much actual work I would have been getting done. It would have suggested to me that it's more important to physically be in my office (maybe even goofing off and surfing the web) than to be at home writing a paper or analyzing data.
So, I have to say, I'm really glad my departmental culture is different. Because let me be honest here. As a professor, I have worked a lot of hours, more hours than were healthy or appropriate leading up to tenure. I did it for a salary that is quite low considering my education and background. I did it for benefits that have been slashed, and take-home pay that has been reduced dramatically each month. I'm in a state where professors in particular and state workers in general have been attacked and denigrated. I don't get prestige, I don't get respect, I don't get a fabulous salary, but what I do get is an amazing degree of autonomy in how I do my work. And this autonomy, this flexibility, is what makes this job worth it for me.
I love my work. I love the research I do and I love teaching and interacting with students at all levels. The thing that makes my type of job a dream job is that I get to work on what I choose, and I get to do it how and when I choose. This is the one major perk of my profession. I'm lucky enough to be in a department that strongly believes in the autonomy of its faculty members. Our culture is such that we believe we are a group of talented, committed people, so it is important to allow us the freedom to do our work as we see fit. What matters to my departmental colleagues is what we produce. The work we do. Nobody cares when or where we do it. If there was some rule about me having to be on campus until 5 p.m. every weekday, that would be incredibly limiting. It would also be insulting. It wouldn't take into account the work I do every Sunday, the work I do in the evenings, the work I do when I fly to and from conferences.
Why do I go into work every Sunday? I do this because I stay at home with my kids every Wednesday. At first, I did this because I could not afford to have my kids in full-time, 5-day a week care. I am the primary wage earner in my family. My salary wasn't high enough to cover the cost of full-time care when we are already paying more per year to send our kids to preschool than we'd be paying to send them both to U.W.
In the past year my income went up and now, although it wouldn't be easy, I could afford to send my kids to preschool and after-school care, full time, 5 days a week. But you know what? This wouldn't be as good for my kids. They are 4, and they get exhausted from being in school. They really relish that day off in the middle of the week. It lets them recharge. It is good for them, and it is good for me to provide it for them. In a year and a half they'll be in kindergarten. This time I have when they are small is so fleeting, so I enjoy spending Wednesdays with them. In exchange, I go into work every Sunday while they stay home with my husband. The fact that I am able to do this is what makes my low salary and diminished benefits worth it.
I am really grateful that the head of my area set a precedent for this type of flexible schedule by leaving early to pick his son up from school. This sent the message that our families matter, our outside lives matter, and it's okay to be more than just a brain on a stick. I'm glad nobody in my department has communicated the attitude that it's face time in the office that matters more than other things, things like the quality of work I produce.
Because the thing is, as soon as you start chastising people for not being in at a certain time of day, that means we all have to agree on what those acceptable times are. Is it going to be M-F, 9-5? M-F, 7-3? What about those teaching evening classes? What about those who run weekend workshops? What about those who have labs with experiments that need to be checked 24/7? What about winter break or spring break? Technically, we faculty do not get any vacation days during our 9-month contract. So anybody who is going to chastise people for not being in the office at 4:15 on a Wednesday had better not take a vacation during spring break. If public perception matters, that perception shouldn't be of us off drinking wine in Napa when we should be on campus earning our keep. Are we really willing to go down that road? I'm not.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Socks
This morning Milo put on some very nice argyle socks and was proud to show them off. Then later, he realized that Grandmom Lee & Papa Greg aren't coming today, they're coming tomorrow. I just heard him tell Jake, "Tomorrow, I want to wear nice socks for Grandmom Lee & Papa Greg." Ah, so those socks this morning weren't just for the heck of it. Come to think of it, his nice argyle socks do complement his sweatpants and pirate shirt.
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