Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Sunny Wednesday

Well, it felt more like a June day than a March day. What a happy feeling. We spent the whole day outside. Morning in the park. After lunch riding bikes and shooting baskets. After nap at the zoo. After dinner outside in the back yard. Milo made 35 baskets after dinner alone!

In the afternoon it was shorts weather. I was sitting outside on the stoop and I looked at my calf and thought, what's the weird indentation and bulge on my leg? And then I realized, oh. That's a muscle. It's a clearly defined muscle that just never stood out like that before. I love my gym class so much because strength training has such noticeable results in terms of muscle definition.

The kids fought all day. Milo has been really aggressive lately. Not only with Nora but with other kids at school. I'm tired from all of the fighting.

But I LOVE the fact that we currently have all of the windows open.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Bad & Good

Good: I managed to get the kids to school by 8:15. I had to get them there early because today was a field trip day to see a children's play.

Bad: The theater got the date wrong, so entire busloads of preschool children arrived when actually the play is tomorrow! So I need to somehow get the kids to school early tomorrow as well.

Good: A symposium I'm part of was accepted, so now I'll be traveling to DC in mid June!

Bad: That's only going to be about a week after I'm in Savannah, which is a month after a trip to Philadelphia, so poor Jake! I always feel guilty when I travel a lot in a short time span. Not about the kids, who are fine, but about Jake because it places such a burden on him.

Bad and Good: An instructor we'd hired for a 2-year position is leaving after his 1st year because he got a tenure-track position. This is good for him. Bad for us. I'm happy for him, but it might mean not offering the courses we'd slated for next year for an important service program. This is especially troubling for me because I was scheduled to collect data in his class next year, and this messes that up. It's also a huge problem for my doctoral student, who was supposed to do his dissertation on data collected from participants in that program next year. I'm not sure what my doctoral student is going to do now.

Bad: Mentor and I had a pretty big fight. Fight is a bit too dramatic given how low-key he is, but he was really mad at me. And I was even more angry than he was. After 7 years of smooth sailing in our professional relationship and personal friendship, this year has been unexpectedly rocky. I wonder if some of that has to do with changing the equilibrium now that I'm tenured and he is no longer "mentor" so much as just friend and colleague.

Good: We made up, so now we're buds again, to use his term. This matters a great deal to me, not that I'm copping to having father issues that I subconsciously try to resolve with every older male authority figure in my life, but whatever.

Good: My office is completed and looks great!

Good: It's totally spring and it is super awesome! It's supposed to be 77 degrees on Wednesday! I can't even say how happy this makes me. And the kids. And Jake. Tonight the kids played basketball outside before dinner while I cooked.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Finally

Finally, after 90 minutes of half asleep constant coughing and suffering, Nora has managed to fall asleep and her room is silent. Finally.

Croup is such a drag.

Spring Day

This has been the BEST WINTER EVER. And now spring seems to be springing early, and it is so great! Usually I spend March (and the first half of April) incredibly jealous of everybody else enjoying spring while we're still slogging through snow. But today we spent the entire afternoon outside in the 60-degree, sunny weather. Every kid in the neighborhood was outside. Parents emerged, pale and blinking in the sun. Impromptu gatherings coalesced on the sidewalk and at the park.

Jake and I trimmed down our overgrown shrub in front of the house as the kids went into an orgy of spring-related excitement, rediscovering all of their outdoor toys. Look, the balance bikes! Bubbles! Balls! The sand table! Aaaaaa! They ran around like crazy people, and then our neighbors came by with their two kids and everybody blew bubbles and played in the sand and rode around on their bikes and we all talked about how great it is today.

Then we came in and as I made a spring vegetable risotto (leeks, broccoli, spinach, chives and parsley, with a finish of goat cheese, so good), we both said, huh. We don't want to leave this block. We don't want to leave the park. It's so nice here.

Then later as we were eating dinner Jake started sadly talking about the house we lost, and right in the middle of his reverie Milo interrupted him, saying, "We're all going to be gone when we die." And Jake stopped talking, and looked at Milo, and said, "You're right. None of that house stuff matters." And Milo hugged Jake's arm and said, "I like you, Daddy", and we smiled as we finished our risotto.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Drama Drama Drama!

Here are some pictures of that house. The stonework and the original front door and entry are so charming. I love houses with a vestibule, a place to take off your coat and boots. Having a double entry keeps a house warmer in our winters. This house still has the original 1920s tile in the vestibule.


And yet! The thing that makes it a dream house is the combination of old and new. It has the charm of an old 1920s house combined with a modern addition and a kitchen to die for. Cherry cabinets, a viking range, double oven, undermount sink...


And closets! Closets galore. Double closets in the master suite, which also has its own private deck, and a bathtub in a turret. A turret! This addition is so well done because it is a high-quality addition (brick), but also well designed architecturally. There are so many additions in this neighborhood that are basically just giant blocks added on to the back of a house. This one was an interesting architectural addition to the house, and nothing like a giant block.

And the closets!


So the house has closets, an open family room / dining room / kitchen area, 2.5 baths, but also an original portion with an office off the living room, the original fireplace, and period details. I just love this view from the living room into the vestibule towards the front door, for instance:


And then the open family area in the addition has nice details like tray ceilings:


So Wednesday I stayed home with the kids, and Milo was sick, and I spent 10 hours cleaning and decluttering our house. Then I cooked dinner, then after the kids went to bed I had several friends from the neighborhood over for wine and dessert. Two of them live on the same street as our dream house, so we talked about that.

The funniest thing is that I told them about how I have a nemesis who I didn't want to get the house. (I'll call her RT). And one of my friends immediately said, "is it RT?" This friend has never heard me say RT's name, I've never talked about RT with her, and yet she pulled that name out of thin air! I was flabbergasted. My friend isn't even a professor, how does she even know RT? She said, "I just thought of her for some reason because she's basically your opposite."

Yesterday morning I got up, rushed the kids to school, did some last-minute cleaning prep, then went and saw the house. Confirmed our decision to make an offer. Came home, showed our house to people. Then called Jake, we decided to meet up over lunch with our realtor to write up the offer. Then, Milo's school called. His teacher thought he was still sick. So I went and got him. Change of plans, Jake would come home to write the offer. Jake came home. Jake, Milo and I looked at the house again. Then we went back to our house and wrote the offer while Milo napped.

Then Jake and I hyperventilated a bit because it was sooooooo expensive. Like, 20K more than the top of our psychological barrier for how much we'd ever want to pay for a house. Also, financing is not straightforward, at least it wouldn't be until we sold our own house. I put all the pictures of our own house up onto a web page, and we prepared to advertise it once our offer was accepted. It was a full priced offer with no contingency, so they'd be crazy not to accept it.

I went to the gym.

Came home. Our realtor called. Another couple has also written an offer, and they knew that another offer (ours) was already submitted when they wrote it. Even though realtors aren't allowed to reveal the details of a competing offer, they are allowed to reveal that there does exist a competing offer. So the 2nd couple knew about our offer (even though they didn't know how much it was for), and were probably writing a better one. A couple of hours went by, the kids went to bed. Our realtor called. A THIRD couple has written an offer, with the knowledge of the first two offers!

Midnight -- the sellers picked the 3rd offer, so we lost the house. They must have gone above the asking price.

Although we are disappointed, a part of me is relieved too. It would have been a lot of money, maybe too much. It felt risky, and Jake and I are pretty conservative with our personal finances. There is something to be said for maintaining our nice small mortgage with only 18 years left on it. Also, the bright side is, we really do like so many things about our current house. Right now I'm sitting in our sunny kitchen (home again, of course, with sick kids, 5th day in a row) and appreciating the fact that our house gets so much sunlight.

So it has been a very dramatic week! I'll be glad when the kids are done being sick, when Jake and I start to feel better, when we can relax a little after all of this business and excitement. I'm looking forward to spring and replacing part of our fence and planting tomatoes (this time with chicken wire) and gardening and enjoying our park. It's all good.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Awkward

Two years and 1 week ago, I sent an email in response to Super Senior Professor's offer to go for coffee. I gave some dates and times, and he responded and we went for coffee. Two years ago.

Today, I received a response to that 2 year old email. He suggested we meet for coffee on the 24th at about 10 a.m. (The 24th is a Sunday, which would be an odd time to meet for coffee).

Did he send that 2 years ago and it just got to me now? Or was he going through his old emails and didn't look at the date and somehow thought I sent him this email just a week ago?

Or is this his way of initiating coffee again, two years later, in a really weird manner?

This super senior professor is at an age where it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that he might be a little confused. (He's about 15 years past the typical retirement age).

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Very Very Very Fine House

In 2 days I'm going to look at a house at 9:15 a.m. and that day we're going to make an offer on it. (We've already decided to make an offer. This has always been Jake's dream house, for years.)

However! My nemesis is also trying to buy the house! What, you don't have a nemesis? Why not? She's the Newman to my Seinfeld. Has been for the past 7 years. And now she is trying to swoop in and buy our house.

Meanwhile! I'm looking at the house at 9:15 and then other people are looking at our house at 10:30. We haven't even listed it yet or anything. We haven't even made a webpage yet or even advertised on the listserve or on FB or anything. But what happened is that recently two different people wrote to our neighborhood listserve and asked if any of us was thinking of maybe selling our house, because they want to live in our neighborhood. So I wrote them both and said, yeah, actually, maybe. So family #1 is looking at it on Thursday morning and family #2 is looking at it on Saturday morning.

This has made for a busy week. On top of, like, working and taking care of sick kids and stuff, Jake has been talking to our realtor and trying to get a mortgage pre-approval letter and I've been cleaning everything and getting rid of the cluttering knick knacks.

One thing for me to remember if my nemesis gets our dream house is that we are actually very happy right where we are, so it's okay. And there's something to be said for maintaining a cheap mortgage. Just think of all the trips we could take!

Monday, March 5, 2012

The Worst of Winter

Milo is super sick. He currently has a fever of 104 and is drifting off on the couch next to me as we wait for the Tylenol to kick in. I think we'll be home most if not all of the week. I am just hoping against hope that Nora doesn't get it too. The poor guy feels miserable.

This week is crazy. Deadlines, office moving / painting, surprise high-drama house buying potential with an iffy at best chance of success, last-minute crazy house cleaning to show ours to some people, and of course no sleep because of Milo's croup. One thing I've noticed is that after a sleepless night (or three), bright sunlight really helps in feeling more cheerful and making it through the day. I did all right today because it was so nice and sunny.

p.s. Milo seems to be sleeping right now on the couch but he keeps moaning in his sleep. He'll be cruelly awoken in about 5 minutes when Jake returns from school with Nora.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Croup

Milo is okay, but he has croup. A long few nights ahead of us.
Milo woke up with a barking cough and wheezing, panicking because he couldn't breathe. Jake just rushed him to the hospital.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Bits and Pieces

-- Jake has discovered Pandora. (I know. Welcome to 2006). Now it's all 80s, Depeche Mode style, all the time. How much of that can I take? It remains to be seen.

-- I am getting new furniture for my work office on Tuesday! The movers are coming to take away the old furniture on Monday. Then I'm going to surreptitiously paint my office on Monday afternoon.

-- Nora says, "Mom, are you ready to see something truly amazing?" as she stands on one leg and spreads her arm wide to create a dance pose.

-- March is the cruelest month. You have spring on the mind, but then you get a giant snowstorm.

-- Tonight after the kids' bedtime we heard some doors opening and closing upstairs, but we also heard somebody going to the bathroom, so I chalked it up to that. But then 45 minutes later I heard a lot of cracking up coming from upstairs. So I crept up the stairs, tracing the laughter to Milo's room. Wait a sec...two kids are cracking up in there. I open the door and sure enough there's Nora on Milo's bed with him and they're laughing at some private joke.

-- Oh God. Jake's station is playing Send Me An Angel. I can't take this anymore.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Apprenticing the Manuscript Writing Process

Off-topic: Today Nora remarked that she wants to be the first astronaut. A little late for that, I guess (and time to teach her some history). The sad thing is that she'll probably never get a chance to even be an astronaut with the way things are going with our space program.

Anyway, I'm writing a paper right now from project data that we collected last year. It's on a kind of tight timeline (in fact it's due in 17 days). Last year I had 2 paid grad students on my project and 2 volunteer grad students who participated in the project as a research practicum. One of the paid students graduated and is now a professor elsewhere, and I'm currently employing the remaining 3. This week another new grad student asked if he could participate in my project on a volunteer basis. Hooray! I'm happy because he seems very competent and thoughtful.

So anyway, I'm writing this paper with all 3 of my current grad students and with the newly graduated professor. He's skyping into our meetings. The students are doing some analyses of the data for the paper and I've been writing a draft. I'm making all of them authors.

I decided to try to make the manuscript writing process as transparent as possible for my students. Only one of them has any experience with writing papers for publication. Dropbox has been so wonderful for this - what did we ever do without it?

There are lots of different ways to write a paper but I only know how I do it, so that's what I'm trying to share with my students. Since we're delving into a new content area for this paper, it required a decent lit review first. I read all of the relevant literature and then took notes on everything I read in one document. As I proceeded, the notes took on an organizational structure with different sub-headings that were relevant to the paper. I kept this on dropbox as I went, creating new versions as I changed it, so they could see its evolution.

When I write I usually need to start with a detailed outline. So in this case, I created an initial outline that I thought might work. Soon I figured out that it wasn't going to work, so I tried version 2, but kept the 1st version in the document so the students could see what I'd tried and rejected. I put all of the relevant notes from the lit review into my outline. Once I finished I could see it wasn't quite right, so I re-arranged things and re-organized into a 3rd version of the outline, which is what I've been using to write the paper.

Meanwhile we've been meeting to discuss this process and for me to solicit the students' input on the particular sets of results we should include. Together we decided on three specific results to go into the paper. Then I started writing the front half of the paper, saving versions as I went. Tonight one of my students remarked that it's been helpful to see how the paper has changed over the past few days, particularly the ways in which I decided to stray from the outline.

I'm having one of my students, the one who will be second author, take a crack at writing the analysis part of the methods section. I figured this would be the easiest part for her to draft because she has been taking a lead on the data analysis.

Tomorrow we meet to hammer out exactly what pieces of data we'll use in the results section for each of the three major results. I hope to create a detailed outline of that part together with them during the meeting, and then write a draft of the results over the next week. Each time I make a shift in my decision for the paper or create a new version of something, I save the old one so that the trace of the evolution of the paper is there for the students to see.

So far they say they've found this helpful. I'm not sure how helpful it truly is, but my reasoning is that at least making it all transparent for them as it's happening can provide one model of how somebody goes about framing and then writing a paper.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

We Had a Trip

This past weekend I took Nora out west to surprise my mom for her birthday. It was a short trip (Fri - Mon) and a lot of fun (but too short). Nora had fun playing with her cousins and getting tons of Mommy attention. She got to feed some very interested/aggressive ducks and geese, build a snowman, decorate cupcakes, and play 82 games of candyland.

I noticed that from Friday morning at 7:00 a.m. until Monday night at bedtime Nora only cried once, and pretty briefly at that, and that was after she'd been up for 17 hours straight with no nap. I was amazed at how good she was. On Friday we took 2 planes and the whole trip took about 8 hours, then she whiled away the afternoon without napping, then she went to a grown-up party at a grown-up restaurant and behaved so well during all of that. I mean, Nora had opinions about things and she shared them loudly and repeatedly, mostly on the theme that waiting for stuff is unacceptable, but that's a very different way to handle things than having a tantrum. She was so good the whole time!

(My tricks for the airplane: Lots of snacks and videos that I don't normally allow. I let her eat crap for snacks, like chocolate-covered granola bars, and trail mix where she picked out all of the M&Ms, and I let her watch about a thousand episodes of Curious George. The rule at home is that the kids get to watch 2 episodes only on a home day, so that's 45 minutes on the 3 home days a week. The other 4 days, no videos. So, watching episode after episode after episode was a huge thrill for Nora and in my book totally acceptable to get through two plane rides. We haven't done this yet, but I might get to the point at which I'd instate this rule for grueling car trips as well.)

The whole trip was so peaceful, in a way, and why was that? Reason #1: Nora is 4. (Goodbye 3, I do not miss you at all.) Reason #2: Milo wasn't around.

Milo isn't the problem, of course, it's just them being together that causes all the ruckus. Milo had a similarly peaceful weekend at home with Jake. I think I just don't have any idea what it would be like to try to actually parent a kid without that kid constantly fighting with a sibling or battling for attention. Every time we separate them for a bit we get a sense of what that would be like. You know what it's like? It's peaceful. It's a piece of cake.

Well, anyway, we came back and immediately delved into the dramatic twists and turns of twinhood togetherness. Milo and Nora were clearly glad to see each other, and in typical fashion their evening went from uproarious laughter and play to fighting and screeching on the turn of a dime, and then back again.

It's gratifying to see them having fun together, and I'm glad they have each other, but having twins is just, well, loud. Fun, but definitely not peaceful!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

On the Way to School

Milo: When I grow up, I'm going to be Spiderman!
Me: Spiderman, huh? Not a fire fighter?
Milo: No, Spiderman.
Me: What does Spiderman do?
Milo: ...I don't know.
(30 seconds of silence)
Milo: He kills spiders.

Brooms and Phones

Little kids create this chaos of mess that you then spend all day cleaning up. When I stay home with the kids on Wednesdays, I usually end up vacuuming or sweeping the dining room floor 3 times a day. I do dishes 3 or 4 times a day. I cook dinner, and most Wednesdays I try to bake as well. Yesterday it was lemon poppy seed scones.

My other goals for Wednesday are laundry, take the kids on an outing, and do a non-standard cleaning task on top of the normal daily cleaning tasks (dishes, counters, sweeping, vacuuming, make beds being the normal ones). So yesterday I got on my hands and knees and cleaned the wood floors with a cloth and vinegar; this was inspired by the fact that I'd let Milo wear his brand-new shoes in the house, and now I know what non-marking sole means (his soles made marks).

Pretty much every evening we clean and do laundry. And rest assured our house is far from pristine. Neither of us likes a lot of clutter, so you won't find big piles lying around, but still, it's like we live in a constant state of mild chaos. Before I had kids I never knew that housework could be so time consuming!

I am not comfortable with the idea of having a cleaning person or a cleaning service, so that's not an option we'll use.

I actually more or less enjoy all of these tasks, as restoring order to our little house gives me pleasure. They're time consuming and tiring, but satisfying. One thing I was thinking about was the technology we have available to assist with domestic tasks. The tools I use to cook and clean are pretty much the same tools my grandmothers used when they were raising their kids. I hang my laundry as they did, I use a broom as they did, I get down on my hands and knees to scrub the floors as they did. I chop vegetables as they did, I cook rice in a pan as they did. It doesn't seem like technology has changed the domestic sphere all that much.

What has changed in domestic technology? Stuff that's typically coded more male than female; audio technology, television technology, movie watching, computers, and phones. The way we watch movies now and the way I communicate on my fancy phones and computers are all beyond what my grandmothers could have imagined. When it comes to toys and entertainment, when it comes to stuff that helps us do our work, technology has changed everything. But when it comes to how we clean our houses, the tools are more or less the same.

It's kind of funny to imagine a futuristic world that my own grandchildren might be living in, one in which they'll be flying around with their jet packs and communicating to each other via the chips implanted in their brains, but when it comes time to clean up the crumbs from lunch, they'll still be breaking out the broom and dust pan.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

That About Sums It Up

Jake, exasperated at endless whining: My God, can you hear me?!?

Nora: YES I CAN!!!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Family Activities I am Looking Forward To...

...when the kids get old enough.

1) Friday movie nights. How fun would it be to all watch a movie together as a family? Maybe even while eating dinner? That'd be such a great thing to do a couple times a month. So far I don't think there are many movies that are suitable for the kids (they're kind of media unsophisticated compared to their peers), but I think in a couple of years there will be plenty of movies we can watch.

2) Roller coasters. I can't wait until the kids are big enough to go on roller coasters. I love roller coasters!

3) Getting into the good books. It'll be so great when they're old enough to read the Narnia series, and The Secret Garden, A Wrinkle in Time, Winnie the Pooh, The Phantom Tollbooth, The Little Prince, etc. We're already getting into some good books that I enjoyed as a kid, like Babar and Paddington. It's so much more fun to read those books than to read Knuffle Bunny over and over again.

4) Family cooking nights. Well, we do actually do this one already, where Jake will make pizza dough and then each kid builds his or her own pizza. I'm looking forward to weekly family cooking where each person contributes to the meal.

5) Family hikes. How great will it be to go on weekend hikes together? I bet this summer the kids will be ready for some of the shorter ones. Also, family camping. Can't wait to do family camping!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Lessons Learned

Lesson #1: When 3 male senior citizens are in charge of lunch during the faculty meeting, make sure to bring my own lunch. Because when "lunch" consists of a cold cuts tray and an 8-inch vegetable tray shared across 35 people, eating 3 broccoli florets and 5 carrots isn't going to cut it.

Lesson #2: Nobody is going to listen to me. This includes people who are generally nice to me (like Mentor) as well as people who barely know me. Nobody is going to give a shit about my opinion so by far the path of least resistance is to disengage, disengage, disengage. Don't bother speaking in faculty meetings (mission accomplished) and more importantly, don't waste my own time participating in faculty searches. Because it is truly a waste of time, even when I happen to know more about the candidate's research area than any other single individual in the entire department. They still won't listen to me.

(Maybe when I'm 50? Or full? Or 50 and full? I'm not sure how old enough or senior enough I would have to be for people to start actually listening to me. Fuck this bullshit department.)

Lesson #3: Do I care about fitting in? I need to make a choice. I can either not care, and settle in to my life here sort of disengaged from stuff that's not my own personal research and teaching, or go to a place where I fit better. It'd be best to just make a decision about that.

Lesson #4: If you're going to ask a couple of 4-year olds what they want the dinner conversation to be about, be prepared to talk about bananas eating eyeballs, going to bed, and then throwing up in their beds.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Funding

I am in what is a fairly large department; or, it used to be large (about 50 faculty members), and now is smaller due to budget cuts (about 30). But in terms of graduate students, we are very large. We have a couple hundred grad students.

The international students in our department asked me to come to a meeting and share with them the things we are doing in our sub-area for our students. Our department doesn't function like a coherent group so much as a larger structure that houses many sub areas. Each sub area may have its own unique rules, traditions, and practices. So my sub area is actually quite different from most of the others in the department. We make up our own rules about things like prelim / comprehensive exams, requirements towards graduation, etc.

This is nice because it allows us a ton of autonomy. We are just a group of 4 full-time faculty when it comes to making decisions about our graduate program. Mentor is the head of this group and these days he defers to me as often as not, so we pretty much do what we want.

In my area we have the luxury of mostly being able to fully fund all of our grad students. I say mostly because there might be an occasional situation in which something goes wrong, and much of our funding ability is precarious because it is grant-based, but we always keep funding in mind when we accept students. Typically we do not accept anybody we cannot fund. This isn't to say that a grad student's salary is decent or easy to live on. It's too low, and I wish we individual professors had some control over that (but we don't). But at least having a funded position means that a student's tuition is fully covered, and the student gets health insurance.

In our area we've recently instituted research practica and teaching practica to help students gain experience in areas they lack. This wasn't developed with funding issues in mind, since our students are funded, but it was developed with the idea of helping students gain experience in areas in which they may be weak because their funding comes from somewhere else. So a student who TAs for funding can do a research practicum to get experience on a research project. A student who is funded only through research projects can gain experience with helping to teach an undergraduate course, and so forth.

The international students were interested in this model because they see it as a way to get experience that is in itself valuable, but also experience that they could maybe leverage into a paid position down the road. The meeting was a real eye opener for me in terms of the plight of many of the graduate students in areas not my own within our department. I mean, I know there are a lot of unfunded students in our department. Most other areas are not grant-getting areas, so they have far fewer resources for funding students. They must rely on departmental money for TA lines and that money has shrunk year after year.

I guess I hadn't had enough up close and personal experiences with what these students are enduring, though. It is very difficult. One student broke down into tears as she explained the dozen and dozens of applications she's sent out across the university and her bewilderment at what is wrong with her background / experience that she is not getting hired. (The sad answer - nothing is wrong. The numbers are what's wrong. When I have an available position and post it, I now get hundreds of applications from grad students across the university. I get applications from law students. From business school students. All of the students are suffering because all of the departments have had budget cuts. Eight years ago, I would have gotten maybe 20 applications. So it's just a bad, bad time.)

One student explained a situation that is actually pretty common. Her parents mortgaged their house and spent their life savings for ONE year of tuition here. In her home country, that's what her parents' entire life savings and house amounted to: one year of tuition. One can only imagine the pressure she was under to find funding before her first year was up.

We're between a rock and a hard place because we keep receiving funding cuts from the state year after year. This past year we took a greater than 20% funding cut from the state, but we are simultaneously being required to educate more students every year and reduce time to graduation. The faculty have only had one cost of living raise in the past 8 years, and in the past 3 years we've had pay cuts. In our department, the money we get to fund TAs shrinks every year, so this means fewer paid positions, fewer TAs, and fewer sections with larger enrollments in each section. It means waiting lists for every course and students who can't finish their requirements in a timely manner because they keep getting shut out of needed courses. It's basically a mess and it's not getting any better.

How ethical is it to accept doctoral students you can't fund?

I'm not sure it's so ethical. I think most professors in my department would argue that it should be left up to the potential student to decide to come, even if they're not funded. But I think this obscures the fact that we aren't always being brutally honest about the funding situation. Attending this meeting with me was another extremely senior professor. (He has been a professor here since the year I was born.) He sat there, in the meeting, and said look, you might have to be willing to come here and eat salad for your 1st semester. But then you'll get funding after that if you beat the bushes, knock on people's doors, and make yourself known to professors by chatting with them in the elevator.

What the students' stories revealed is that this is total bullshit. These students have been beating every bush from here to Canada and they've been doing it for 2, 3 years in a row, with no funding to show for it. They're volunteering. They're attending meetings and talks and lectures and participating in research groups. Professor Senior's advice used to be true 10 years ago, but it just isn't now. (Not to mention, I don't think "eating salad" really conveys the gravity of this situation. Tuition has gone up, especially for out-of-state students. What we may think of as one year of tuition and living costs could mean an entire life savings for students from some countries.)

Tomorrow I'm proposing a change to our admission letters in the case of unfunded students so that we communicate the funding situation clearly, along with perhaps some facts about funding likelihood. I know that this will anger a lot of faculty, but that's what tenure is for.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Houses

This morning we looked at 4 houses in the neighborhood that we've kind of been interested in. The first one was vertically huge (4 bedrooms on the 2nd floor, 2 more on the 3rd floor, tons of closets etc.) but such a mess that it'd take about 150K, we were guessing, to get it into the kind of shape we'd want. Then it'd still have the problem of not having a garage or driveway. So meh.

The 2nd house was almost perfect. Great price, gorgeous, huge front porch, a garage that actually has a door that leads into the house so you'd never have to go outside in the winter to get into your car. (I know this is common in suburban houses but in our urban neighborhood with houses built anywhere from 1890 to 1930, it is unheard of.) Perfect main level; gorgeous, big kitchen with nothing we'd want to change about it, a fabulous entry / mudroom from the garage, living room, dining room, extra bonus library/parlor room, and a bathroom!

OMG, this back entry. This is a dream in a snowy state where entering the house means a 5-minute ordeal involving shedding boots, hats, mittens, coats, and scarves:


So much charm! So beautiful!


This is only half the kitchen!


Seriously, it is a really gorgeous house. Upstairs, 3 decent bedrooms and one pristine bathroom. So there is that. The basement was the nicest unfinished basement I'd ever seen, and it was huge, so it probably wouldn't be too tough to put a bedroom into the basement and call it a day.

The problem? The location. It's a block from the stadium and all of the houses across the street are rentals. Rentals in general isn't a problem, but in this location rentals means undergrads. And in our town, at our university, undergrads means drinking, partying, and overall mayhem. We'd probably be kicking ourselves after a year if we moved there. I am not exaggerating when I say we'd probably have to hose vomit off our sidewalk every week. The location pretty much made it a non-option, but we're going to check it out for a few Saturday nights to see if it really is as loud and obnoxious as we think it'd be.

The 3rd house is pretty nice and may be worth buying. An older university couple has lived there for about 40 years, so there are cosmetic upgrades it would need, but they're not that bad. This is a really old house (like 110 years old) but it is cute, with an awesome little yard. And the driveway? Is a heated driveway:


The kitchen is big (eat in), and there's a wood-paneled library off the living room, and a weird little 3/4 bath on the main level which, combined with the library, could function as a place for guests. And the upstairs has 3 very nice sized bedrooms, plenty of closet space (again unusual in our neighborhood), and a little office/library off the master. So a little money going towards taking up the carpet, refinishing the floors, and doing some work on the kitchen would result in a very nice house, I think.

(However Jake just said, "I'm not feeling it", so maybe not...)

The 4th house was a remodel / flip up from the studs and weirdly you could just tell and even though the bones of the house are old, the house felt like some weird soulless thing that you would find in the suburbs. Like everything about it was more or less nice, but we didn't like it at all somehow.

No house is perfect, I guess; when you combine location and charm and space and bedrooms / bathrooms and garage and yard and porch and so on and so forth, the kind of house that has everything we want is never what we can actually afford. When we came home we felt a renewed appreciation for our house; its location, how bright and sunny it is, and how nice it is to have a guest room and bathroom in the basement. So, food for thought I guess...

Friday, February 17, 2012

P.S.

I wish I had a shirt that said, "Fuck you, you fucking fuck." But I'm not sure where I could wear it.

Awesome Sauce

This morning I was reading a book to the kids and on one of the pages there was a picture of a sign that read, "Bus Stop". Nora pointed to it and said, "Bu...Bu...Bus. Bus Stop!" She rocks!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Weirdness!

Nora: Where is my penguin's nose? Where did the nose go? The nose is gone. What happened to my penguin's nose?
Milo: Hmm.
Nora: Maybe I ate it.
Milo: Yeah, I saw you do that.

*****

This morning out of the blue Nora asked me who built our town back before any of us lived here. Somehow that question led to a series of more questions that culminated in asking how babies get into their Mommy's tummies. Blindsided!

*****

Tonight I made a vegan version of scalloped potatoes with mushrooms and shallots, using almond milk instead of cream. It was good. Small steps away from dairy.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

One Year Ago

I can't help but remember that it was 1 year ago today that the political protests began with a smallish group of students delivering valentines to the governor's office. And then it grew, and grew, and grew, and grew.

Last week we visited the fire station for a school field trip and they had a sign up in their office that said, "IAFF FIRE FIGHTERS RECALL WALKER". I still remember what it felt like to stand in a crowd in the capitol as the fire fighters marched through to the sound of bagpipes, their hats in their hands, marching to protest a bill that exempted them. I can still feel that crushing feeling in my chest as the entire crowd started chanting, "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU" and the noise echoed up to the ceiling and back again, deafening our ears.

Recently a friend sent me a photograph taken of me and her marching and holding signs in a crowd and talking to each other. It's not a flattering photo. My mouth is open and we both looked pissed off. I remember that we were talking about tenure, and it was such an incredibly anxious time for us both. The anxiety over politics and what was going to happen to our paychecks and our healthcare and our schools on top of the tenure anxiety was just too much.

Things are so different now. Tonight I did 2 pull ups. My goal is to do 5 by the end of the year. I got stuck halfway through the 3rd and could not make it, and my trainer said, "You've got to get angry!"

But that's the thing. I'm not so angry anymore.

(We still better recall that fucker, though).

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Future is Now

I am so happy because:

1) When I left to go to work late this morning, after my pancake cooking extravaganza and my run and my shower, I got to watch the kids on the ice rink and see Milo skating around with a grown up's hockey stick, one at least 6 feet long.

2) One thing I got to do at work today was read three very good papers. All three of them actually come to me by way of Google+, one as a recommendation, and two because I contacted a scholar and asked him to send me some of his work. Google+ is a great way to talk about interesting work-related ideas with people.

3) When I came home, Jake had a great dinner ready: spiced lentils with tomatoes and carmelized onions and coconut rice. The rice had jalapenos in it. It sounds weird, but it was actually really delicious.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

377

Writing this kind of blog is a strange thing to do in a sense because it's mostly for me, partly for the kids in their hypothetical future, and partly for other people, for instance, family who like to see stuff about the kids. But it's not all for me, of course, because if it were, I would write different stuff. Or rather, I wouldn't leave out a lot of stuff that I do leave out. And it's not all for other people, because I have an indulgent habit of making posts like this one that will bore the pants off of people who are not me, in which I share a crapload of photos that the kids took. Maybe this will be interesting to the kids when they are older. I imagine sharing this with them when they're grown up, perhaps when one of them has a baby of his or her own.

So anyway, Nora and Milo somehow took 377 photographs when I wasn't paying attention. Here are a few of those. I don't share them because I'm under some delusion that they're great photographs. I just find them interesting in terms of what they tell me about what Nora and Milo are looking at, and what they find worth capturing. It's so odd to me what they choose to photograph!

What I didn't include was the 30 or so photos of our smoke detector. I don't know why Nora was so into photographing the smoke detector.

My keyboard:


Coming down the stairs:


Blocks in a stainless steel bowl with a lid on it:


Folded laundry in a hamper:


Me, when I was sick, juxtaposed with a distorted image of a model:


Nora's feet:


Me, reaching out to Milo saying, "Come here, let me roll your pants up."


Milo:


Nora:


Our kitchen wall:


Our linen closet. I thought it was so strange that Nora wanted to open up the closets and capture what was in them:


Milo's rody horse:


Our bathroom floor and my great shoe:


Winter light in our house:


Bar stool and heater vent:


Milo and our new bathroom door knob:


Installing that door knob has been a major hassle. Our door knob hole isn't cut in a standard location; actually, nothing about the door is standard. But the door stays shut now, which is something. The door knob is also very pretty.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Happy

My rock star friend got tenure yesterday. Hooray! Tonight we all drank tequila, and then more tequila, and listened to White House stories and discussed who is the George Clooney of math ed. Me. I'm the George Clooney of math ed, bitches.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Oh, Texas

Just another reason I'm glad we don't live in Texas. I can't even fathom many parts of this story. Spending tens of thousands of dollars to send children to see a movie in a theater? Sending only the boys?

I can only imagine how well it'd go over to try to explain that Milo gets to go on a field trip to see a movie but Nora needs to stay at school with all of the other girls.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Quote of the night

"Mommy, I'm going to love you for as long as I live."

Quote of the morning

"Well, when Dad was done smelling your slipper to see if it had pee on it, he didn't say anything!"

Grrrr!

I can't sleep tonight because right before bed I discovered something that has been bothering me all night. I'm on a research group and we've been writing up some results from some studies for two short papers for a conference submission. I took the lead on one paper and my post doc took the lead on the other. She finished her draft a few days ago, and I am still working on mine. So in the intervening time Mentor took a look at her draft and revised and shortened it. Then he sent out his revisions and when I opened it up I couldn't believe my eyes. He had rewritten her intro and lit review substantially, and his rewrite turned it into an exact replica of MY intro and lit review for my paper -- without ever having read my draft!

You know you've been writing together too much over the years when you independently write what is basically the exact same intro and lit review for two different papers. It is a better fit for my paper than for the other paper though!

Moral of the story, I think: Don't read emails right before bed!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

SPD Picnic 1977

This morning Nora dug through her shirt drawer, which must contain about 30 or 40 different shirts, most of them gorgeous hand-me downs or gifts of really lovely quality. There is lovely stitching on these shirts, delightful patterns, nice sleeve detailing, etc. I got sort of depressed looking at all of those beautiful shirts and realizing that Nora will pretty much only wear three of them: her school t-shirt, a fishing t-shirt, and a bikemonkey t-shirt.

Sometimes I worry that people keep giving us more and more clothes because they might see how Nora and Milo are dressed and conclude that we can't afford to buy them enough clothes. Recently their teacher gave us a big bag of terrific hand me downs. So far I have convinced Nora to wear only one thing out of the whole bag. But the truth of the matter is, it's just not a battle I want to fight. If they're old enough to pick out clothes and have an opinion, I don't feel like I should enforce different clothes onto them against their wills.

This morning all three of the shirts Nora likes were dirty, so Nora was pretty much at a loss. Wearing any of the other 37 shirts is pretty much unthinkable. Then she spied, what's that? A t-shirt, on a different shelf, high up. "What's that, Mommy?" She asked. I pulled it down. It's on old t-shirt of mine that says "SPD Picnic 1977". Nora breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, another acceptable shirt to wear! So today she happily wore the t-shirt I had back when I was 6 years old.



Friday, February 3, 2012

Unanswerable Questions About Crabs

1) How can we not get pinched by a crab when we go swimming?
2) What if we go swimming in the ocean, and a crab is there in the ocean, and wants to pinch us?
3) Do crabs have eyes?
4) So crabs can see everywhere, and if we step over them, they can see our legs and bottom. How can the crab not see our legs and bottom?
4) Why do crabs walk on the sand in the ocean?
5) What if a bee stung a crab?
6) What if the crab was out of its shell and a bee stung it?

Next up: Unanswerable questions about bees.

Cupcake Moments

I'm going to go ahead and blow whatever flimsy pretense I had at not discussing the name of my town or university by linking to an article that has meant a lot to me over the years.

A friend of mine had a cupcake moment tonight. Her son's birthday party at school is tomorrow, and she ruined the cupcakes she was making for it. Of course this happened not at the reasonable hour of 7 p.m. or something, but at 10:30. She'll probably get up at 5 tomorrow. My colleague's cupcake moment reminded me of two things. First, of my own cupcake moment a year ago, when I ruined the cupcakes I was making, late at night of course, for my own kids' birthday treat the next day to share with their class. Fortunately I had the ingredients to start all over and make a second batch. Second, it reminded me of this essay written by one of my departmental colleagues.

Before my colleague published that essay in the Chronicle, she read it at a panel forum on campus about balancing work and life. Characteristically, she did not just show up to the forum to share a few rambling thoughts about her experiences, as the other panel members did. Instead, she carefully prepared and shared with us a couple of insightful vignettes that so well encapsulated some of the impossible and competing pressures she faced as a working mother. These stories were infused with my colleague's contagious humor and sincerity.

She told them so well, and the second one, the one about her daughter getting sick in the elevator, moved me so much because I could so easily see myself in that position. I didn't even have kids yet, but at that time, dealing with the tenure track alone seemed impossible. What I wanted to do, have a family on top of it, seemed impossible. The pressure was so overwhelming, in the moment of that discussion, that I struggled not to start sobbing right there in the audience.

My colleague, who I adore, was untenured at the time, and what she said at the end of her talk has stayed with me forever. She said, "If the university grants me tenure, then they are so lucky to get to keep me. And if they don't, then fuck 'em!"

And I wanted to jump out of my chair and cheer for her.

She got tenure.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Why is Slate Such a Crappy Rag?

A lot of thinking people sometimes stumble upon a terrible Slate article and then go on a rant about how wrong it is. And then their thinking friends say, "Well, what did you expect? It's Slate, after all." Home of the pseudo-science bullshit "evolutionary psychology" articles (OMG it's totally natural for men to be cheating sex addicts because that's the way it was on the veldt!). Home of articles with headlines like, "How to Hit a Woman". If it's sexist, anti-intellectual, or stupid, you're apt to find it on Slate.

So why, oh why, did I click on a Slate link about Dooce's separation from her husband? Probably because I've been reading Dooce for 8 years, and oddly, the news of their separation really saddened me. They seem like a fabulous couple, which is a naive thing to say when your only sense of somebody's life is through what they choose to share on a (very public) blog. But anyway. A lot of people in our real lives have been getting separated and divorced lately too, and in almost every instance it ends up surprising me. They seemed so great together! It goes to show that you can never know what is going on somebody's marriage.

So I clicked on the link to read the headline: "If Dooce Can't Make an Egalitarian Marriage Work, Who Can?" Seriously...that's the angle? Oh, Slate. Of course that's the angle. Find some way to suggest that traditional marriage is the only way! Egalitarian marriages are just unnatural and, really, impossible, am I right? I'm sure the separation had nothing to do with the very serious mental health problems Dooce has written about (including severe depression); it happened only because they had an egalitarian marriage. (Dooce has, to my memory, never actually described her marriage in that way, by the way). But they separated, therefore, egalitarian marriage is a sham! That's right ladies, get back in the kitchen pronto, because if you don't, you'll get divorced!

I know. It's my own damn fault for clicking on a Slate link.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Hearing Loss

Nora is currently having a massive tantrum in her room. I wonder if she is going to break a door. When she is good, she is very very good, and when she is bad, she is horrid.

Today we went to audiology, and Milo has significant fluid in his ears (no surprise there) and a moderate hearing loss. Significant enough that we need to do something to fix it so that he doesn't miss out on too much at school and at home. The idea is that if the fluid goes away, his hearing should improve. He also had an x-ray this morning that showed enlarged tonsils and adenoids. I don't know what any of this means, other than a follow up with an ENT doctor to learn more.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Ambition

Note: I shared this with somebody who said, "You have no clue how good you have it." Which made me think that perhaps this post could be construed as complaining, or ungrateful, and that is not how I feel. I feel incredibly grateful for my job. I am just self-indulgently musing here, but I do recognize that I've already got everything I need. The fact that I love going in to work is priceless, and I don't take it for granted.

**********

So, after tenure...now what?

I spent a long time on the tenure track telling myself that all I wanted was tenure. I just wanted a quiet life, and I wanted to be able to settle in and not worry about losing my job. I just wanted to be secure, and then I could sink into the obscurity of the typical movie professor's life, where nothing much ever happens, and there are a lot of slow moments, and shots of chatting with entranced groups of students under giant oak trees on sunny days. Stuff like that. That's all I wanted.

Being too ambitious always seemed kind of...uppity to me. I have no idea why. (Well, I have an idea. IBTP.) I've spent a lot of time trying to prove that I'm not uppity. I didn't even use the word "professor" when people asked what I did for, like, a year. It seemed too uppity. Look how down to earth I am! I slip on the tile floor and fall when walking to a meeting! All my students use my first name! I'm goofy and self deprecating! I'm definitely not an elitest bitch, right? ...right?

And then, last year, I had lunch with a woman in my department who laid out a game plan for me. It was an ambitious game plan, involving things I'd never contemplated for myself, but as she described it, it really resonated with me. I got excited about it.

I look at her, and at a couple of other colleagues in my department, people who are uber successful on a level far, far above my own. It is kind of appealing. Why yes, I would like to earn thousands of dollars per speaking engagement, as opposed to, uh, a dinner out on the town. And I suppose I wouldn't turn down an honorary degree or two.

But am I ambitious enough to really want to aim for that type of career, and to do the type of work necessary to earn it? That is something I'm not sure about yet. Because one thing is, I have small kids. That changes things somewhat, but I recognize that it doesn't have to be a deal breaker. Other people with small kids can and do devote an enormous amount of time to their careers, working very hard, traveling a great deal, and otherwise making a lot of sacrifices.

But I do like being able to spend the time with my family that I do. And, frankly, I like being able to have some time to myself. Time to exercise, time to commute by foot and listen to The Moth podcast, time to bake. I like that stuff. So...maybe that means the obscure movie professor life after all. Do I really want to work all the time? Maybe not. Do I want to take 10 flights in a week? No.

So maybe the obscure, quiet life is the one for me. But I do love my work, and on many, many days I feel frustrated when the day comes to an end and I need to leave work. I feel frustrated because I just want to keep digging into what I'm doing, the way I used to do before I ever had to adhere to a schedule. Also, I do hear the siren's call of the more ambitious career, and the fact that I hear that and respond to it surprises me. I didn't realize until recently that maybe I am actually an ambitious person.

So what will I do about it? I don't know yet. I don't know what I will choose. And, of course, not all of it is a choice. No matter how hard I worked, in theory, I'd probably never be like the speaking engagement lady or the honorary degree guy.

I could certainly work harder than I am working this year. This year, the I-just-got-tenure-now-leave-me-alone-I-need-a-nap year, I feel like I deserve some time to not make any decisions. To step out of the flow for a little while and see what emerges. So that's what I'm doing, along with playing sequence with Nora, reading about sea creatures with Milo, and trying to build up to 5 pull ups. I guess I can figure things out eventually. After I take that nap.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Unanswerable Questions of the Day

Mommy, do you want to know why I just like you so much?

Mommy, how many houses are there?

How many trees are there?

Are there as many trees as houses?

Mommy, what if I lived inside an eyeball?

Mommy, what do bears do?

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Ice Skating

Something's starting to click!



Crunching or Punching

Sometimes Milo will say that what Jake does for work is "crunching numbers", or "punching numbers". He'll say, "My Daddy punches numbers." I was reminded of that because today I really am crunching numbers, which isn't something I do often for data analysis, but it's fun.

The other cute saying I've been hearing a lot is Nora's new term of endearment for Milo. For instance, yesterday when Milo woke up from his nap, I heard Nora say, "Hi Matey!" Or she'll say, "Hey, Matey, let's go downstairs and find Sammy!" Milo seems to accept being called "matey" as normal.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Stuck!

Nora obligingly took this photograph of our bathroom door, because I was too lazy to go upstairs.


So this morning I was in the bathroom, fiddling with the door. I'd noticed over the past couple of weeks that the door knob wasn't working quite right. It was sliding around and sometimes the door would not latch. It annoys me when the door doesn't latch, because then the door swings open of its own accord. So I fiddled with the knob in order to make the door actually latch.

And then I turned the knob to open the door again, and it wouldn't open. Turning the knob didn't move the latch. Also, when I turned the knob, I heard a little clinking sound. It was the sound of something breaking.

The kids were outside in the hall, and I was in the bathroom, separated from them, with a door I couldn't open. I fiddled with the knob some more, more and more vigorously, but nothing I did would budge the latch. Milo turned the knob again and again from the other side of the door, and that did nothing either. I was completely stuck in the bathroom.

Milo said he would run downstairs and get his (toy) tools. At that point I realize that there actually happens to be a screwdriver on the kitchen counter, so I'm about to tell him to get the real screwdriver for me, but then I notice that there is absolutely no gap between the bottom of the door and the floor. That's what happens in an old house. Some of our doors have gaps, some doors don't, some have slanted gaps. There was no gap here. No room to slide under a screwdriver, a phone, or a slice of bologna.

I rattled the hell out of the doorknob, and the door, sort of panicking and getting hot. It's not one of those flimsy, new construction doors. It's a solid core door. I thought, okay, I could have the kids get the phone and coach them through calling Jake. Wait, what's Jake's work number? I don't even have that memorized. I could have the kids call 911, which would be easier to dial, but that's a resort I really don't want to use. It's not exactly a 911 situation, except for the fact that I'm separate from my kids.

I could also climb out the window, onto the roof of the garage, and then get down that way. The only problem there is a) the roof is covered with snow and ice, and I was pretty sure I'd fall, b) I was barefoot, and c) the doors in the house were locked, so then I'd be locked out. But the kids could probably unlock the door for me.

I looked at the door knob. It'd be best if I could just take it apart. Two screws held the knob in. I had no screwdriver, but I had a pair of trimming shears for cutting Nora's bangs. So I used the scissors to get the screws out, and then I was able to disassemble the door knob, and then release the latch mechanism and escape from the bathroom.

I realized that if a kid had gotten stuck in there, we would have been in real trouble because the screws were only on the inside of the door, so there would have been no way for me to take apart the door knob from outside of the room.

So, there was our adventure for the day. As a result of that experience I decided it'd be a good idea to teach the kids how to make a phone call, so I taught them how to call my cell phone and taught them about calling 911. At least now if I have to tell a kid to make a call, they'll know how to do it. The door knob is off the door and I've ordered a replacement, so I think we'll be okay. May be a bit awkward for guests wanting to use the bathroom in the interim, though.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Nothing, really

Yesterday we went to a party and we used the party to get the kids into semi-normal clothing. Look, actual pants (not sweatpants) on Milo. And an actual long-sleeved shirt on Nora, one that matches her pants. Then I tried to take a picture but they kept making goofy faces.


The party was weird. It was a combination of Jake's work friends and friends of his work friends through a common church. One woman asked me, right after she learned my name and the kids' names, whether I am "able to" stay home with the children. I didn't really know how to answer that. It was awkward. Sometimes I feel like such a fish out of water.

Guess what? Speaking of those kids, they are starting to get the hang of ice skating. I should bring my camera along one of these days and take a video. They don't have to hold on to the chair as much now. They want to skate all the time. It's nice that we can just decide to do it on the spur of the moment.
We've only had about a week of real winter and snow and stuff and I'm already over it. I wouldn't mind spring right about now. I miss summer.

Here is the first in my series of exercise-with-your-kids videos, idea stolen from a brilliant source that I can no longer find, but I've been looking. (A dad curled his baby!) Next up, weighted squats. Just put the kid on your shoulders. Third, weighted push ups. That one will have to star Jake. Jake is badass enough to do pushups with a kid on his back, but that's a ways off for me!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Nora's Photography

I found a bunch of pictures that Nora took on my old camera over the last couple of months. She took a few new ones tonight and it was interesting to watch how much more deliberate she is about taking pictures now. She actually aims the camera at things she wants to capture (often Milo).

Here is her photograph of her own foot:


Milo, tonight:


Me, a couple of months ago:


Milo in September:


Jake. I'm always reminded how different Nora's perspective on the world is when I see her photographs of rooms and adults.


Milo in August:


Me and Jake in August:



Friday, January 20, 2012

What's real?

In a number of instances I have explained to the kids that snow monsters aren't real, so they don't have to worry about that. But they need a refresher.

Milo: Are snow monsters real?
Me: No. Snow monsters aren't real.
Nora: Milo, snow monsters are just in books and movies. They're not real.
Milo: Are sharks real?
Me: Yes. Sharks are real.
Milo: Are there sharks up north then at Grandma and Grandpa's house?
Me: Uh, no, because sharks live in salt water, in the oceans, and the lake at Grandma and Grandpa's house is fresh water, so there are no sharks in the lake.
Nora: Monsters aren't real, right?
Me: Right. Monsters aren't real.
Milo: Are sea monsters real?
Me: Uh, no. Sea monsters are just pretend.
Milo: Are crabs real?
Me: Yes, crabs are real.
Milo: What?!? Crabs are real???

He was genuinely surprised by that one.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Crashing Blanket

You know what's really boring to read about? 1) People's dreams. 2) People's lists of stuff they have to do. 3) People's complaints about how they're sick. So naturally I'm going to do #3.

I got a cold, and then got over it and got better (moved on to the post-cold bronchitis stage), but then I got a post-cold sore throat. It's super super sore and has been this way now for almost a week. Something that needs antibiotics? My approach to going to the doctor tends to be, "Wait a couple of weeks and see what happens." Because it's time consuming and irritating to go to the doctor so she can say, "Yeah, looks like you've got a sore throat there. Clear liquids." But dang, my throat is killing me.

**********

It was very cold today and I felt very crummy so I was lazy and stayed inside with the kids. When we go on outings, they do well. When I don't fully occupy their time with novel experiences, they turn their energy to other things, like fighting with each other. Or, in Nora's case, picking arguments with me. That child could start an argument with a rock. I think she gets a perverse pleasure out of arguing about things she knows are fruitless to argue about. It doesn't matter. It's not the destination of the argument that she cares about, it's the journey.

***********

Theoretically speaking, sometimes a professor gets a hold of her tenure case. I'm not saying this happened to me or anything. But, hypothetically, it would be a very strange experience to read the letters that 7 white guys in their sixties wrote about your worth. Not bad, but definitely...surreal.

As odd as it is, I think our dept. officially releases the full tenure case to professors after they officially get the stamped tenure letter (which always happens in the summer). In that time I may have more to say about this.

***********

I did 17 push ups in a row (on my toes, thank you) because I am incredibly motivated by praise from authority figures. Unresolved childhood issues can ironically spur a lifetime of achievement in never-ending fruitless attempts to garner positive attention and acclimation from others.

************

That thing about service increasing really is true. Somehow I've suddenly added to my service load not just IRB but also being a series editor for a practitioner journal and a strand leader for a conference and then I agreed to write this thing that's a research brief for practitioners for our national organization. I have tried so hard to say no over the years that I feel like now it is time to step up to the plate and say yes more. But I don't want to write that research brief thing. But I'll do it. But I don't want to.

************

The kids think it's hilarious to call Jake Mrs. Wimpydimple. Also, Nora made up a song about a crashing blanket that Milo thinks is the funniest thing he's ever heard. Crashing blanket! Who ever heard of a crashing blanket? That's just crazy talk!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Not His Hat

The kids have become enamored with Shel Silverstein poetry. Their favorite poem now is "Something Missing", which is accompanied by a drawing of a man wearing socks, shoes, a jacket, tie, and cap.

Something Missing

I remember I put on my socks,
I remember I put on my shoes.
I remember I put on my tie
That was painted
In beautiful purples and blues.
I remember I put on my coat,
To look perfectly grand at the dance,
Yet I feel there is something
I may have forgot --
What is it? What is it?...

(And then Nora said, "His hat?")